I know at least one or two of you out there have been wondering why I’ve posted so infrequently this year, and why I went completely AWOL from social media. Since the truth is bound to trickle out very soon, I thought I’d break the news here, where it can be shared with the most readers. Guess what friends:
💑 💒 💕 💘 ❣ I GOT MARRIED!!! 💑 💒 💕 💘 ❣
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Filed under Bad Influences, Girls of BIUL, Great Hamsters I Have Known, Podcastery, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All
I have a 100% real, absolutely serious offer for any women in the audience over the age of 18. I assure you; although I am a humorist, this is no joke.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Girls of BIUL, Worst Of All
Want to hear a funny story? It’s true, too. I used to be “pro-choice”, up until not that long ago. I was pretty outspoken about it back in high school. Why do you think that was?
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Worst Of All
I’m ostensibly going to talk about double standards in the media for a bit here. I may repeat myself from previous articles for emphasis. Consider yourself warned.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Girls of BIUL, Worst Of All
Last night it happened, again. I willingly sat through a film that evoked such animosity, such blinding and violent hatred in myself, I couldn’t sleep afterward. I lay awake, practically steaming, trying to work out how I could find and slaughter every member of the cast and crew.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Saturday Movie Matinee, Worst Of All
The gist of my sentiments here today is this: on the 27th of this month, I will be fifty years old. I don’t understand it any better than you do. I feel no older than 38. I don’t look at my face, hands, or body and see those of a fifty-year-old man. I can walk a mile in ninety-degree weather without issues. I don’t talk about it much because my age is a recurring reminder that my ability to empathize with other humans will only continue to dissipate.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish
I have now passed the half-way mark on my least productive year in a decade. Even when I was practically homeless and actually starving a ways back, I was producing more work than I have this year. I know what the problem is.
That itself is the problem.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Girls of BIUL, Nostalgic Obsessions, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All
Mark my words. As soon as it becomes feasible, the father will be erased from the family unit forever. The word and the concept will be abolished and nullified. You can bet your life savings on it happening in the next five years.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Nostalgic Obsessions, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All
These are strange, uncertain times in which we find ourselves. I imagine you must be worried sick by now; about getting the virus, about whether there really is a virus, and about whether you’ll ever be permitted to leave your house again without dressing like part of a hazmat crew. Well buddy, I don’t mean to trivialize anyone’s neuroses, but let me tell ya, I need to fuck.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All
Something you probably don’t know about me, being that we are conversing in the odorless digital realm; I have olfactory senses on par with or equal to a woman’s. I can smell everything. All the time.
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Filed under Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Thousand Listen Club
BIG BOOK OF COMICS (SIGNED)
$10.00
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