Category Archives: Great Hamsters I Have Known

Ralphie Boy

Imagine if everything you knew about human existence, from birth to death, was based on the years 2020 to 2022. Imagine if the worst two years of almost everybody’s lives thus far encompassed your entire lifetime. Would it be a good life, or bad?

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Requiem For Bitey

How many of you can say you’ve been punched in the nose by a dwarf hamster?

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46th & Vern

Yesterday, I had my birthday. Everyone wished me good luck.

Isn’t that a great song? I love that album. Crispin Glover is one of my favorite people. Remember when he was “Uncle Dell” in David Lynch’s Wild At Heart? How he stayed up all night making sandwiches?

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Filed under Faint Signals, Great Hamsters I Have Known, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Site Stuff, Thousand Listen Club

Vern’s Vet Adventure

When something restores your overall morale, and very nearly your faith in humanity, that something must be publicly acknowledged. And yes, that’s humanity, not “hupeopleity”, or any other spurious, Canadian word salad.

Two things you already know if you’ve read articles on this site in the past month: 1., I’m flat broke, and 2., my dwarf hamster Vern has had a growth under his chin since mid-January.

A Vern in the hand.

This past week, the growth grew significantly, and I began to worry that it was hurting Vern. Hopefully you don’t know this, but when you’re so broke that you can’t even provide for the pet that depends on you, the spiral of shame and depression is mind-boggling in its brutality.

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Valentine’s Vern II: The Squeakquel

Vern, aka Vernal Squeequinox, is my Winter White dwarf hamster. You might have seen him in other articles here, or in my interminable Facebook posts. Maybe you’re not interested in another page about my emotional support hamster*, but I assure you, Vern only wants to share love. Like me, he takes his small fandom very seriously. (As seriously as a tiny ball of fluff can take anything.)

A snoozing Vern in an Ovo pod.

*As a favor to me, please remember this: I never, ever, want to hear any tragic stories about hamsters, yours or otherwise. Never. I’m asking you nicely.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

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Valentine’s Vern

My dwarf hamster Vern (aka Vernal Squeequinox) has a Valentine just for you!

You might notice that Wheeljack makes an unscheduled cameo, and that my camera is busted (hence the cinéma vérité/shaky camera effect). Cheerios are like crack to Vern.

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Filed under Eatable Things, Girls of BIUL, Great Hamsters I Have Known

Great Hamsters I Have Known

Today, a great hamster was laid to rest. His name was Boris. 

boris1

We must not be sad, and instead celebrate the all-too-brief life of a beloved creature. Boris was curious, friendly, and adored by all who knew him; even the folks who disliked his kind. By some cosmic coincidence, the grey-and-white patches on his back formed a big “B”. Continue reading

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