Before we begin; I hope for both our sakes that you’re wearing your protective mask while reading this. I can’t actually see you, so I have to implement the “honor system” and presume you’re a “good neighbor” who won’t somehow infect me with mystery germs through the endless tubes of the internet. I know you’re better than that; I can tell by the fancy mask you’re no doubt sporting inside the house you’ve been confined to for the past four months. Even though, as stated, I can’t actually see you.Continue reading
Tag Archives: sellouts
Mark my words. As soon as it becomes feasible, the father will be erased from the family unit forever. The word and the concept will be abolished and nullified. You can bet your life savings on it happening in the next five years.Continue reading →
I’ve always known I was smarter than just about everyone else. Now, I have proof. Beyond the shadow of any doubt, I have proof.Continue reading →
A long, long time ago, in a previous century far away, I wrote a song called “Doing Without”.
Yes, believe it or leave it, I used to “write lyrics”, although I never had much aptitude for it, and I preferred repetitive chants over sophisticated poetry. Plus, I was the vocalist out of necessity and proprietary right; I don’t have the greatest singing voice, I confess. I can carry a tune about as well as I can carry a Volkswagen bus. Not well, would be my point here.Continue reading →
The number one rule of Spite Club is: You do not have to talk about Spite Club. All you have to do is accomplish or achieve something notable in the public eye. The rest happens naturally.Continue reading →
“Climate change” is real. The idea that you can do anything at all to affect it is not.
I don’t care if that statement makes you mad. I get mad when I see people harping on and on about climate change, formerly known as “global warming”, formerly known as “destruction of the ozone layer”. It’s Don Quixote’s biggest windmill. It’s a fib you’ve been sold your entire life by politicians who want to distract you from matters that you can affect. It’s nonsense for keeping kids busy in kindergarten. You will tap-dance on the surface of Jupiter before you do anything that changes the climate.
I often defend the things I love in life because of how much I have learned from them. From cartoon characters, I have learned a great many things. For instance, I have learned that there exist people in this world whose hearts are so cold and devoid of joy, they seek only to extinguish that joy in others, no matter the cost.
It’s one of the corniest moments in any movie, let alone a WWII movie from 1998, but it works.
In Saving Private Ryan, Captain Miller (Tom Hanks) pulls Private Ryan (Matt Damon) close, and speaks his final words to the soldier he has given his life to save:
“Earn this. Earn it.”
OMG LOOK! I’M DRINKING OUT OF A SOLO CUP AT A HIGH SCHOOL KEG PARTY AND VOMITING! OMFG! FIRST PANEL! DON’T TELL THE F.B.I.! THEY MIGHT START CRYING ABOUT IT!