Rollins Band

When I wrote this, it was still possible to go to a gym and work out. Or go to the beach. Or amble out-of-doors, as pictured in panel one. Or touch another human being, as I’m doing with what’s supposed to be R. Crumb in panel three. HA HA HA HA HA!! SUCKER!!! SUCKER!!!

Seriously, are you complaining about being confined to your house right now? Are you starting to rankle at the reality of sitting in front of your computer all day, every day? Is the possibility of imminent financial destitution making you a bit nutty? How about the grinding alienation brought on by a paucity of human contact? Is it gettin’ to ya? Li’l bit?

This is where, if I didn’t care about your feelings, I’d tell you to cry me a fucking river. You’ve been stuck in my world for less than two months, and you can’t take it. You’re climbing the walls and lashing out at your friends and family over news to which you are fatally overexposing yourself.

This is where, if I didn’t care about your feelings, I’d tell you to nut up and get another job. Go stock groceries, motherfucker. Suck dicks for twenties. What you’re doing ain’t makin’ it, know what I mean? Don’t look at me, you’re the one bitching. Maybe you should change careers, I mean, the opportunities are clearly endless. The going’s gotten tough, so now’s the time to abandon your chosen path in life and become somebody else. It’s the easiest thing in the world, everyone does it. Swallow your pride. “Man up”. Or “woman up”, whatever that means, if you’re female.

Good thing I care about your feelings, huh?

If there’s anything I still hold out the faintest hope for, it’s that, if we ever come out of this thing, you might have a smidge more respect for artists and what they do. I know, it’s a pipe dream, but that’s why it’s called hope. Just like I hope that this isn’t extinction for myself and millions like me. I hope that in five years, you won’t be saying “Gee whiz, what happened to all the good comics, music, movies, books and art? It just seemed to disappear.”

Think about what sustains you in these uncertain times. Take five seconds and think. I can absolutely guarantee it’s some form of art. A song, a book, even a TV show you’re “binging”. All these things are art. All these things are currently considered “inessential”, even though you turned to them as you would food or oxygen. If you think you can survive without them, you are lying to yourself.

You are a liar.