I don’t care what your agenda, politics, cause or reasons are. I don’t want to hear about sequels, prequels, reboots or recasts. I don’t care who’s offended, what’s offensive, or problematic, or should be cancelled.
I don’t want the following movies fucked with. Ever.
I often bring up the time I spent in jail because I learned a lot there. Unless you’ve spent more than 48 days behind bars, you should presume that I know more about the experience than you.
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”
-Mel Brooks
Renowned and brilliant comedian Hannah Gadsby steps behind the microphone at a popular New York City comedy club. Hannah begins a scathing monologue about how good men don’t exist. The teeming crowd of young people begins to hoot and holler in delight and affirmation. Then; it happens.
It’s one of the corniest moments in any movie, let alone a WWII movie from 1998, but it works.
In Saving Private Ryan, Captain Miller (Tom Hanks) pulls Private Ryan (Matt Damon) close, and speaks his final words to the soldier he has given his life to save:
I know you’re out there; you’re sick and tired of political correctness stinking up your comics. Like, so sick and tired that you’re not even reading this. You’re off doing something else because you’re fed up with the never-ending guilt-trip perpetuated by the mainstream media. But I know you’re out there.
And if you were reading this, you’d know one thing.
On the first of May, 2018, sometime about a half-hour before noon, a bar appeared underneath every post on the social networking site Facebook.
I had awakened earlier, in a panic attack, and been scrolling my “newsfeed” in a wrongheaded attempt to relieve my state of depressive shock. Believe it or not, sometimes it works. I find pictures of kitties, or baby hedgehogs, or pretty girls with their whatnots hanging out. Maybe an inspiring story or a naughty bit of humor. I feel better, and get on with the tasks of the day.
But this new snitch bar made things way, way worse.
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