Tag Archives: whores

07/27/2020 · 7:27 am

The Mask of Virtue

Before we begin; I hope for both our sakes that you’re wearing your protective mask while reading this. I can’t actually see you, so I have to implement the “honor system” and presume you’re a “good neighbor” who won’t somehow infect me with mystery germs through the endless tubes of the internet. I know you’re better than that; I can tell by the fancy mask you’re no doubt sporting inside the house you’ve been confined to for the past four months. Even though, as stated, I can’t actually see you.

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06/16/2020 · 6:16 am

Father’s Dead

Mark my words. As soon as it becomes feasible, the father will be erased from the family unit forever. The word and the concept will be abolished and nullified. You can bet your life savings on it happening in the next five years.

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05/05/2020 · 5:55 am

I Need To F**k

These are strange, uncertain times in which we find ourselves. I imagine you must be worried sick by now; about getting the virus, about whether there really is a virus, and about whether you’ll ever be permitted to leave your house again without dressing like part of a hazmat crew. Well buddy, I don’t mean to trivialize anyone’s neuroses, but let me tell ya, I need to fuck.

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03/16/2020 · 6:13 pm

Gone Viral

I’ve always known I was smarter than just about everyone else. Now, I have proof. Beyond the shadow of any doubt, I have proof.

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01/28/2020 · 1:28 pm

The Individual Must Die

Of course I was spoiled growing up. We didn’t just have The Muppet Show (and Fraggle Rock!) on TV- we knew the name of the man who brought the Muppets to life; Jim Henson. We even knew that the man who voiced “Miss Piggy”, Frank Oz, guest-starred in one of the biggest sequels of all time, as a little green alien called “Yoda”.

Oh, and that sequel? We all knew whose baby it was. George Lucas. His film-school buddy Steven Spielberg was the mastermind behind E.T., Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Jaws, and the classic-styled anthology show Amazing Stories. (Just to name a few.)

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Worst Of All

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03/25/2019 · 5:23 pm

Dear F.A.G.S.

The following is an open letter to Facebook, Amazon, Google, and Spotify, from Matty Boy Anderson. Mr. Anderson is a 28-year veteran of newspaper comics, and has self-published his own comic books for equally as long. He has created Internet content for 20 years, and authored three websites. In 2008, after three years of production, he released a homemade movie that won Best Animated Feature at the Atlanta Underground Film Festival.

Dear Facebook:

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02/06/2019 · 4:20 pm

Spite Club

The number one rule of Spite Club is: You do not have to talk about Spite Club. All you have to do is accomplish or achieve something notable in the public eye. The rest happens naturally.

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12/03/2018 · 11:28 am

Check and Climate

“Climate change” is real. The idea that you can do anything at all to affect it is not.

I don’t care if that statement makes you mad. I get mad when I see people harping on and on about climate change, formerly known as “global warming”, formerly known as “destruction of the ozone layer”. It’s Don Quixote’s biggest windmill. It’s a fib you’ve been sold your entire life by politicians who want to distract you from matters that you can affect. It’s nonsense for keeping kids busy in kindergarten. You will tap-dance on the surface of Jupiter before you do anything that changes the climate.

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10/08/2018 · 3:20 pm

Earn This

It’s one of the corniest moments in any movie, let alone a WWII movie from 1998, but it works.

In Saving Private Ryan, Captain Miller (Tom Hanks) pulls Private Ryan (Matt Damon) close, and speaks his final words to the soldier he has given his life to save:

“Earn this. Earn it.”

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09/08/2018 · 9:08 pm

I Am Better Than Maddox

Folks, I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but-

In case you haven’t been steeped in Internet culture for most of your life, let me explain. Cast your mind back to the year 2004 B.F. (Before Facebook). A leap year.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Podcastery, Site Stuff

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