Category Archives: Worst Of All

Hovercraft

Sometimes in life, we fashion an artistic animus that over time, becomes a cage that confines us. Sometimes we try different things to keep the animus from becoming stale, and redundant. Sometimes we overhear a song that makes us want to kill, kill, kill, until we are hip-deep in blood and viscera.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Thousand Listen Club, Worst Of All

The Mask of Virtue

Before we begin; I hope for both our sakes that you’re wearing your protective mask while reading this. I can’t actually see you, so I have to implement the “honor system” and presume you’re a “good neighbor” who won’t somehow infect me with mystery germs through the endless tubes of the internet. I know you’re better than that; I can tell by the fancy mask you’re no doubt sporting inside the house you’ve been confined to for the past four months. Even though, as stated, I can’t actually see you.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

Father’s Dead

Mark my words. As soon as it becomes feasible, the father will be erased from the family unit forever. The word and the concept will be abolished and nullified. You can bet your life savings on it happening in the next five years.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Nostalgic Obsessions, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All

I Need To F**k

These are strange, uncertain times in which we find ourselves. I imagine you must be worried sick by now; about getting the virus, about whether there really is a virus, and about whether you’ll ever be permitted to leave your house again without dressing like part of a hazmat crew. Well buddy, I don’t mean to trivialize anyone’s neuroses, but let me tell ya, I need to fuck.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

The Crisis Fetishist

Hey kids… you want a soundtrack
That’s gonna make you feel tense?
Let you express your frustration?
Make ya scared, wanna run out and buy a gun?

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Thousand Listen Club, Worst Of All

Gone Viral

I’ve always known I was smarter than just about everyone else. Now, I have proof. Beyond the shadow of any doubt, I have proof.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Eatable Things, Worst Of All

The Individual Must Die

Of course I was spoiled growing up. We didn’t just have The Muppet Show (and Fraggle Rock!) on TV- we knew the name of the man who brought the Muppets to life; Jim Henson. We even knew that the man who voiced “Miss Piggy”, Frank Oz, guest-starred in one of the biggest sequels of all time, as a little green alien called “Yoda”.

Oh, and that sequel? We all knew whose baby it was. George Lucas. His film-school buddy Steven Spielberg was the mastermind behind E.T., Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Jaws, and the classic-styled anthology show Amazing Stories. (Just to name a few.)

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Worst Of All

Whose Year Is It Anyway?

“Bury the fuckin’ thing!”

-John Saxon as Lt. Don Thompson, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

I want to thank everyone who stuck with me through one of the most god-awful years of our lives. With love, this is for you.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Site Stuff, Worst Of All

Woke Zero

The Chisholm and Humphrey buttons are awfully familiar, but I just can’t place why…

Despite my general distaste for trendy buzzwords, “woke” never bugged me to the extent of, let’s say, “synergy”, or “logos”. (That’s “Logos“, not the plural word for “logo”.)

I can tell when a new word’s gonna go the distance, and when it’s gonna burn out. Want to know how I know?

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Site Stuff, Worst Of All

It’s A Shame About Rey

I owe you good folks an apology, I really do. This is gonna take some serious swallowing of pride, but I have to admit where I was mistaken. Here goes nothing.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, O'Shloktoberfest, Robot Toy Fetish, Thousand Listen Club, Worst Of All