Category Archives: Movies You Missed

“The Suck-Will”

From “Thrills: A Retrospective”, 2015.

Cast back your mind over thirty years ago, before the onset of this godless, profane century, to the comparative innocence and joyful day-glo palate of the Year of Our Lord 1991. My college pals and I were attending the historic Tara theater in Savannah, along with a significant percentage of the coastal town’s population.

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee

Movies I Hate

Last night it happened, again. I willingly sat through a film that evoked such animosity, such blinding and violent hatred in myself, I couldn’t sleep afterward. I lay awake, practically steaming, trying to work out how I could find and slaughter every member of the cast and crew.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Saturday Movie Matinee, Worst Of All

I Sees Sus Sauce

I’ve noticed that it’s become de rigueur to over-criticize everything (other than personal politics, mandates, foreign governments, or presidents not named Trump), particularly when it comes to the Sopranos prequel. People are so desperate to appear savvy and informed that they will over-analyze things, thereby nullifying the joy of discovery. You talk yourself into hating, in the futile hopes of besting the haters. You’re afraid to love something that someone else might hate.

To prove my point, I’m going to stick thoughts into your head that will make you hate your favorite things. Let’s start with The Sopranos!

Ready?

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All

The Many Saints of Newark

I know what you’re thinking; we’re all thinking it. They dressed young Tony Soprano up to vaguely reference Chris-Chan, and they did it intentionally. It fits the timeline; filming preceded the eldritch horrors that ultimately led to prison for Chris-Chan. I don’t even want to joke about what he did, and in case you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about: I am not crazy.

My personal credentials for this review are as follows:

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Filed under Bad Influences, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, O'Shloktoberfest

The Breeders

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Girls of BIUL, Late To The Party, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Thousand Listen Club

The Dickies

Of course I’m gonna provide clips to go with this mediocre comic strip, I mean, what are we doing here?

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, O'Shloktoberfest, Saturday Movie Matinee

Prince Variant, Seller of Collectibles

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Magazine Rack, Movies You Missed, Saturday Movie Matinee

Don’t F**k With These 5 Movies

I don’t care what your agenda, politics, cause or reasons are. I don’t want to hear about sequels, prequels, reboots or recasts. I don’t care who’s offended, what’s offensive, or problematic, or should be cancelled.

I don’t want the following movies fucked with. Ever.

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Filed under Faint Signals, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Thousand Listen Club

It’s A Shame About Rey

I owe you good folks an apology, I really do. This is gonna take some serious swallowing of pride, but I have to admit where I was mistaken. Here goes nothing.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, O'Shloktoberfest, Robot Toy Fetish, Thousand Listen Club, Worst Of All

House Lights, Show’s Over

Maybe someday, in some perfect future utopia where I am long dead, the vaunted generation known as “millennials” will finally experience self-awareness. Maybe they will finally uncover the reason why they are so vehemently despised by literally everyone who came before them.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All