Abort Yourself

Want to hear a funny story? It’s true, too. I used to be “pro-choice”, up until not that long ago. I was pretty outspoken about it back in high school. Why do you think that was?

Because I wanted to get laid.

That was literally the only reason. Not because I had respect for women, or their bodies. Certainly not out of any respect for human life. Because some piece of shit put it into the female brain that there’s a 1 in 10,000 chance that a condom might break, and in that fateful totally-could-happen event, I better be mentally and financially prepared to have my sex partner go off to murder the resultant fetus in some assuredly-safe clinic.

Because I was a fucking retard, like literally every other high school-age human in this country. Someone so irredeemably stupid that they’ll possibly cause the death of another human being just for some pussy. And this, after the enforced 1990’s custom of wearing a prophylactic that deadens the sensation of the precious event that lasts on average under five minutes.

If you’re so fucking brainwashed and addlepated that you can’t even fathom a viewpoint outside of “pro-choice”, leave this website immediately.

I’m not kidding. Fuck off. Go lick Miley Cyrus’s sainted asshole. I’m finished with anyone who can’t entertain an opposing perspective. People like that are a cancer upon society and deserve to be loaded into boxcars and incinerated.

I’m not kidding. Leave. Now.

At this point in time, and I’m aware I’m tempting fate here, I never, ever imagined I could have this kind of burning, murderous hatred for humanity. If I wasn’t already banned from social media (because I joked about aborting cartoon people from a piece of pro-abortion corporate art), I’d be posting about how I’m a cunt hair away from killing as many people as possible before I’m taken down. Like, you don’t even know. Some of you were about to get an email reading “You seem cool, so stay inside your house tomorrow.”

Oh, you’re freaked out by that statement? Why? Why the fuck is your life worth more than that of a fetus? Why is mine? Why is anybody’s?

What if my purpose in life isn’t to create satirical cartoons? What if my purpose is to wipe a hell of a lot of people out of existence, in a firestorm of blood and entrails? What difference would it make?

Humor me, in my metaphorical final moments as I metaphorically load my metaphorical shotgun. Answer this one question.

Were you born of woman?

I don’t care what your answer is, I know you were. Even if you hated each other, she died, or you killed her, you had a mother. Even if she had to be carved open or torn apart, you came out of her body.

So ask yourself this. When an insane idiot in the form of a politician, a celebrity, or a protester claims that a human fetus in utero is “just a clump of cells”, or “doesn’t have a heartbeat”, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK A MOTHER FEELS?

I’m a fifty-year-old, male, ugly, out-of-shape, constantly-impoverished, childless, unhappy, apoplectic cartoonist who literally spent the first part of this article threatening mass murder, and I’M MORE SYMPATHETIC TO HUMAN MOTHERS THAN OUR ENTIRE GOVERNMENT. Not to mention a GIGANTIC PERCENTAGE OF WOMEN.


How did I get to this point? Check this out.

Two things; one, that comes from Reddit, the most festering cesspool of degeneracy on the internet, wholly populated by inhuman perverts. Two; whomever is responsible for that image is a sick fuck, a danger to everyone around them, and should immediately be stuck underneath an asylum for the criminally insane.

Imagine, dude. Can you even comprehend the layers of mental illness and animosity required to even think such a thing? Now can you see why I fantasize about spraying crowds with buckshot? While grinning ear-to-ear, because I know I’m in the right?

In many neighborhoods of this third-world shit-stain I inhabit called “Atlanta”, this rancid pigsty of a city, there are expensive homes occupied by upper-class liberal white families with four or five “STACEY ABRAMS FOR GOVERNOR” signs festooning their manicured lawns. Some signs are even handmade!

Even though Stacey Abrams is black, you don’t see these obnoxious eyesores on the lawns of many black families. GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY.

Like myself, Stacey Abrams is childless. Unlike myself, Stacey Abrams is a fucking monster.

Let’s talk for a bit about the unassailable modern cathedral of death known as Planned Parenthood. Its founder, Margaret Sanger, deduced that inner-city black folks breed like caffeinated rabbits, and since they’re black, that just means more rapists, thieves and substance abusers. Clearly, Sanger surmised, black parents are far too stupid and intoxicated to raise children properly, so it’d be better to introduce the dusky ones to the world of birth control and elective abortion, thus curbing the relentless onslaught of black infants who are no doubt fatherless and have hopheads for mothers.

Hey, that’s not how I look at it. That’s how Margaret Sanger did. Research it. Sanger initiated a genocide of black people that even Hitler would gasp at. And it continues to this very day.

See, that’s the secretly hilarious thing about white women going bonkers about the abolition of Roe v. Wade. They project their own personal experiences regarding birth control only onto other white women. They never, even for a second, think about which racial group endures the most D&C’s within that second. They only care about the 0.3% chance that an abortion is necessitated by rape or incest. (You don’t want to know what percentage is “elective”.)

No matter how often they put on a “pussy hat”, no matter how many pro-choice protests they attend, no matter how much they scream and cry on social media, it will never change the fact that Planned Parenthood exists to curb the black population in America. It’s by design. That is the reason it was founded. Eugenics.

And even if every single abortion clinic in the country was bombed in the next 24 hours, Planned Parenthood would still carry on. Because there’s just too much profit in stem cells.

These people honestly believe that a human life is worth more dead than alive.

I’ll give you a moment to process that. It’s a lot to take.

But it’s reality.

Just like the reality that you live among people who have no issue with murdering children. They govern you. They work at your jobs. They’re probably among your friends, maybe even your family.

Maybe, just maybe, some people yell the loudest about “abortion rights” because they know it’s wrong. The ironic thing about the truth is that you don’t have to constantly repeat it. It’s easy to remember, because it’s the truth. But lies have to be repeated until everyone submits and the truth is forgotten, no matter how long it takes.

It’s not impossible that there are women reading this who have had abortions or miscarriages. I have literally nothing to say about that. It’s not my fucking business. There exists no logical scenario wherein that is my business unless I’m the father. If you interpret that as me being uncaring, you are either a moron, a Stacey Abrams supporter, or both.

No you are not, and our world would be better off without you.

If you need the affirmation of strangers that you made the right choice in getting an abortion, you were never educated about sex in the first place. If a woman can be president, or prime minister, or a soldier, than a woman can sure as fuck make the right decision about an unplanned pregnancy. If not, than a woman should be none of those things. If you can’t handle deciding whether an unborn child lives or dies, particularly one you’re partly responsible for creating, you couldn’t lead ants to a crate of cracked eggs.

I don’t care if you believe in God or not. God has nothing to do with this. If this article causes you to attack me, lash out at me, or cut off contact with me altogether, good. That proves I was right, and you’re wrong. You allowed yourself to justify infanticide and I called you on it. You allied yourself with child-killing monsters, and elected yourself their willing mouthpiece, all while crying crocodile tears on social media for the families of murdered children you heard about on the news.

I was raised to believe that mothers of all species were to be respected for their choices, hardships and sacrifices. I now live in a world where elected officials, celebrities, pop stars and “influencers” couldn’t show mothers less respect if they gang-raped them. I’m right and they’re wrong. If that’s “pro-life”, fucking so be it. If I have to abide millennials who believe farming hurts the environment, then you sure as fuck have to abide me, no matter how unpleasant or ugly my rhetoric becomes.

The monsters who want you to eat bugs and kill your unborn children are your enemy. You should lie awake gnashing your teeth at the thought that they even exist. If you don’t, take a long hard look in the mirror. You will see nothing more than a monster looking back at you. A demonic, godless thing that only brings shame to the parents that brought you into this world. A pustulant mockery of a zygote that should’ve been speared with a metal coathanger in the womb and allowed to spill onto the floor like so much toxic waste.

If you’re not a monster, and she’s alive, call your mother and thank her.

After all, she didn’t abort you.

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