Something important to keep in mind right now; we do not live in “the Bad Timeline”. We live in Bad Times.
The reason this is important is because Bad Times inevitably give way to Better Times. Believing that we now exist in the Bad (or Worst) Timeline implies that nothing will ever get better. In terms of your mental health, that’s, as they say, Not A Good Plan.
Trust me, you have to fight the unrelenting despair that surrounds and suffocates us. Personally, I take drugs, both prescription and illegal (in this state, anyway). Things are so astronomically horrific in our country and our world, that I don’t even know how to make them funny anymore. If I wasn’t deathly afraid of the void and non-existence, I’d have laid down and died by now.
It’s so bad that I’ve resorted to believing in God, praying, and going to church. If you think you can survive life without believing in something greater than yourself, something that watches over you and actually cares whether you live or die, you’re delusional. The people who want both you and I dead and our country’s people subjugated don’t believe in God. So you do the math.
Maybe you’re disgruntled because so many of America’s precepts involve “God”, because in your estimation, God is an invention of long-dead superstitious men native to a more primitive time in our history. You think God is some sort of white, bearded “sky wizard” who sits on a cloud and is worshiped by those dumb hayseeds in the flyover states. Even though you shun the Bible as ancient nonsense, its depiction of God is the specific one you disparage as non-existent and silly. (Even the most intransigent atheist wouldn’t dare claim the non-existence of Allah.)
Well, if that’s what you think, you’re wrong.
The reason our inalienable rights in America are considered “God-given” is so that no matter what, no human being can take them from you. Not even a King, or The Pope. That’s it. That’s all it is.
It doesn’t matter which God you believe in. The entire point is that you admit that you aren’t a supreme being in this universe, and no human has authority to take away your rights. If you were paying close attention during the final act of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, you realized that the traps set on the path to the Holy Grail weren’t the work of God. They were designed by men to test Indy’s understanding of God. The true Grail was never meant to be removed from its chamber, nor can it be, without fatal repercussions.
If Indy hadn’t knelt in penitence (and rolled forward), he would have been beheaded. If Indy hadn’t known the true name of God (the Roman spelling), he would have fallen to his death. And if Indy hadn’t made a true leap of faith, he never would have discovered the hidden “Breath of God” bridge, which was painted to look like the opposite wall of the chasm, and invisible to the naked eye. (Also he would have fallen to his death.)
And, in case you need reminding, at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, the literal wrath of God is unleashed.
If you can suspend your disbelief for a fucking popcorn movie, you sure as hell can believe in a higher power, i.e. God.
Especially if you suspended your disbelief regarding the events of the past two years.
Without getting too “churchy” here, I can tell you that one of the main teachings of Jesus Christ is forgiveness towards the people who have done you harm. Another word for forgiveness is amnesty.
You’ve probably seen that word batted around lately, yes?
Amnesty is being requested by people who wished for my death, or the loss of my home and livelihood. People who wrote articles for major media outlets calling me every nasty name they could, insulting my intelligence, or claiming I’m a “spreader of misinformation” who should be censored, punished, and ostracized.
They did this because I flatly refused to take an untested vaccine for a virus with a 99% survival rate.
They did this because I wouldn’t fall in line as they shuttered businesses and closed schools, while the pharmaceutical companies made their puppet-masters billionaires. While our entire government was bought out and ravaged by the insidious dick-like tentacles of the World Economic Forum. While almost every nation in the world was being decimated by these soulless demons, who even went so far as to destroy those nations’ histories and museums, in full public view. Until censorship was openly enacted, even embraced, to keep us from finding out about it or sharing the truth.
They did this because submitting to moral terror made them stupid. Because they willingly let it happen. They let their fear make me an enemy; someone blocking the path to their salvation. An obstacle of their virtue and righteousness, to be crushed into dust and forgotten.
Forgotten. That’s a key word here. Because I haven’t.
And because I’m not Christ, I won’t.
I haven’t forgotten how Howard “King Of All Hypocrites” Stern made headlines saying I should die. I haven’t forgotten how this loathsome, sniggering stereotype straight from an A. Wyatt Mann drawing called me a threat to public health because I refused to take an untested vaccine that has caused more sickness, mass death, heart attacks and strokes than the virus it ostensibly protected against.
Because vaccination, like getting tattoos and having babies, can never be undone. So to the people who can’t take back the vax, I will always be a threat. You can’t un-ring a bell.
I haven’t forgotten how hundreds, if not thousands, of people just “died suddenly”, because that’s a totally normal thing people do in modern times; they just die. That’s the “new normal”, like having people in the White House who shit themselves and can’t complete a coherent sentence. It’s totally normal not to get full details when a newly-vaccinated celebrity like Bob Saget “dies suddenly” on his bedroom floor with a wound that typically results from a three-story fall onto pavement, headfirst.
Totally normal for a comedian like Gilbert Gottfried, who took the vaccine first chance he could, to drop dead (sorry; “die suddenly”) not long afterward. I’d link the video where he and Saget talk about getting vaxxed like it’s a civic duty, but surprise surprise, it’s been memory-holed. And lest you think I’m being too hard on stand-up comedians, I remind you that on average, they’re dumber than dirt, and they’re bought more easily than a toothless septuagenarian prostitute. You can hypnotize a stand-up comedian with a single finger like a chicken. And yet, these people can go on to influence public policy, or even enact it. That’s almost as bad as actors in office; those fuckers lie on purpose for a living. They obey whomever pays without question or complaint. Call me crazy, but that’s not someone you want within a hundred yards of the circus that is politics. That circus has more than enough clowns and elephants to go around, thank you very much.
Died suddenly of “Sudden Adult Death Syndrome” (SADS, get it?), which is totally a normal thing that you never heard of until recently. Totally not the work of unspeakably evil people trying desperately to cover their own asses as the truth about “sudden deaths” becomes more and more impossible to overlook.
It was never about our health. From day one it was all about control, and don’t kid yourself. As an added bonus, normalizing people in masks everywhere was a nice dry run for the acceptance of hijabs. You know, those things that 12,000 people were slaughtered for protesting in Iran. Mostly women who considered hijabs oppressive. Which they 100% are, and yet I’m expected not to gag when I see them worn around my town.
And in the face of all this, I’m supposed to take the high road and be forgiving. To be the “better man”. To not “stoop to their level”.
Well, as I said, I’m no Jesus Christ (nor even remotely Christ-like), and I don’t know how to forgive. Also I’m Irish/Italian, so you might as well forget it.
I don’t know how to forgive people who stopped being my friends because they made the decision to get vaccinated and I didn’t, or because a job forced them to get it. I don’t know how to forgive the women who treated me like Typhoid Mary, and the men who called me a pussy for not mindlessly obeying their spuriously sainted, beagle-torturing “doctor”.
I don’t know how to forgive the people who made me physically weaker by forcing me to stay indoors for a year. I don’t know how to forgive the people who scolded me for not wearing a useless surgical mask that protects against literally nothing. I don’t know how to forgive people who classified me as a crazy extremist because I wouldn’t take an untested vaccine for a virus with a 99% survival rate.
I don’t know how to forgive the people who took a borderline schizophrenic like myself and annihilated every remaining scrap of trust he had in the human race. Laughing, and clucking their forked tongues as they did.
I don’t know how to love anymore. I hope it was all worth it for you.
I don’t believe in a “Bad Timeline” because that means I will endure increasing unhappiness until the day I die. Capitulation to such a concept is tantamount to death. Submission to godlessness and the void.
I don’t know how to forgive the people who asked for this.
Because I don’t want to forgive.
I don’t want to take the high road, or be the better man. I want to return the hurt and pain I’ve received with shattering force, in triplicate. There are people whose eyeballs I’d love to crush into their brains with my thumbs. There are corporations I’d love to burn to the ground with every single employee trapped inside, screaming in agony as their flesh sizzles and carbonizes. There are countries I’d love to bomb into salted glass, for the betterment of mankind (I’m looking at you, Canada). There are heads of state I’d love to watch become a red mist as I emulsify them with a .50 caliber sniper rifle from a concealed position.
That’s the only kind of love I know in 2022.
That’s why you should thank your lucky stars I believe in God. Because if I didn’t, I’d do every one of those things, and get away with it. Because if I were prosecuted, I’d just lie until the courts gave up. And if I couldn’t get away with it, I’d turn the gun on myself. Dead is dead. There would be no undoing what I had done. History would change. Forever.
The problem with that isn’t that I believe in God. The problem is that it would actually change nothing, because I’d be labeled a psychotic mass murderer and not someone who just needed their voice to be heard. Who just needed some empathy for his choices. Who just needed the understanding people claim is so important for themselves, or everyone who isn’t white, or for the few who lash out at the world because they thought they could change their chromosomes through dangerous elective surgery. Or for the people who want to diddle little kids, and who openly groom them with perverse drag shows within the dubious security offered by the average public school.
All I needed was understanding. Love. A life preserver to save me from the complete and total alienation in which I’m now drowning. Alienation so severe I can’t even stand being around other people without wanting to scream and inflict grievous bodily harm. Because I don’t even see people as human anymore. I see every other person as an enemy. A threat to my safety and freedom. A threat to my life.
All I needed was understanding. Or at the very least, to be treated like a living human being. If you’ve managed to read this far, you have a pretty clear idea of what I received instead.
Maybe, sometime in the future, I will learn how to forgive. Maybe it’ll happen within the lifespan of the unforgiven. Maybe I will re-learn how to love someday. To open myself up to a woman again, or be close friends with another man. To return to what I truly know as “normal”. Not the media definition of accepting the most horrific corruption and transgressions as “part and parcel” of normal life. The normal I knew when I was happy and knew how to love others, unconditionally. The normal that allowed me to be who I am. To exist.
All I can do is hold out hope that the Bad Times will yield to Better. That humanity will triumph over evil. That there’s a reason to keep on living, in the long run. Even while going through seemingly endless Hell.
Thank your lucky fucking stars I believe in God. If you think such a practice is insane, you’re dead wrong.
The insanity is coming from the opposite direction. You have a choice in whether it overwhelms and subsumes you. Make that choice, before you don’t have one anymore. And that day is coming fast.
For millions of people, it’s already here.