Category Archives: Worst Of All

Bless This Mess

No need to thank me. I won’t say “I told you so”. I won’t rub it in, or be a “sore winner”. I’m good like that.

I'm sorry you're having trouble. (BONK) I'm sorry you're having trouble.

I’m sorry you’re having trouble. (BONK) I’m sorry you’re having trouble.

Appreciate that the desire to gloat is strong, however. The Left made their bed; now they can die in it. They were so terrified of Bernie Sanders’ predicted landslide victory that they lied, cheated and stole to sabotage it. I’ll never, ever forget or forgive their cowardice and manipulation. But this is a “comedy site”, so let’s put all that aside for the time being.  Continue reading

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Uncategorized, Worst Of All

Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail 2016

Last month, I kidded a friend that 2016 is The Year Everyone Died Or Sold Out. I figured if I joked about it, it might stop being true. Even though I am well acquainted with Fear and Loathing, this was the point where everyone else got acquainted with them too.

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Even I wasn’t mentally prepared for the comedians caving in. That was the final straw for me on social media: well-known comedians abusing their influence by endorsing presidential candidates. Try to conjure an image of George Carlin backing Richard Nixon. You can’t, because Carlin was a brilliant mind with integrity. Entertainers publicly endorse a candidate because their corporate masters told them to, and the ones that do are whores. Straight up.  Continue reading

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Filed under Don't Know Don't Care, Uncategorized, Worst Of All

1941: The Illustrated Story

1941 is a not-very-good comedy from 1979, directed by a young Steven Spielberg. It has an all-star cast; John Belushi, Robert Stack, Slim Pickens, Ned Beatty, and Christopher Lee, just to name a few. The score, from the dependable John Williams, is rousing and bombastic, with a great send-up of Glenn Miller that plays before a “zoot-suit riot”. The movie is a farce about a small California town that descends into chaos when a Japanese sub appears off the coast, just after the attack on Pearl Harbor.

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The destruction effects, and Slim Pickens faking a forceful shit by chucking a boot in a toilet, greatly endeared 1941 to me as a boy, to the point where I drove my dad nuts with it. He knew it was a stupid, leaden bomb. I saw Dan Aykroyd with nylon hose on his head and oranges in his eyes screaming “I’m a bug”, and I lost my mind. Then I tried it myself one day, and I almost lost my eyesight.  Continue reading

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Magazine Rack, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Worst Of All

Intoleroids

From the 2016 Wish Book Catalog: Celebrate the 15th anniversary of America’s tolerance of the worst people in the world! Great gifts for anyone who fears free expression (from others), and the folks in your life who do nothing but tear down and destroy! Order now: before the right to criticize anything is taken away by the US government, to appease hateful, murderous bigots! Special discount for submissive would-be dissidents and useless virtue-signalers! Rat out your close friends and family online to get the whole set- FREE!

As seen on BIUL #2.

As seen on BIUL #2.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Magazine Rack, Worst Of All

Career Immolation: A User’s Guide

They say there is no such thing as bad publicity. Of course there is, when the public asks;

“Whatever happened to that guy?”

And then the public remembers, “Oh yeah. That happened.”

(l-r:) Glenn Humplik and Tom Green, with one of Canada's accursed "milk bags". Hopefully I won't be legally pressured to remove this photo.

(l-r:) Glenn Humplik and Tom Green, with one of Canada’s accursed “milk bags”. Hopefully I won’t be legally pressured to remove this photo.

In the late 1990s, MTV gave Canadian public access personality Tom Green his own show. It was a raucous, prank-filled half-hour wherein Green literally abused and humiliated every single person he encountered, while affecting an oblivious, addled mien. It was for the most part very funny. Continue reading

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Worst Of All

The Man Who Cries

If you’re a man, the easiest way to get a woman to leave you is to cry in front of her.

Note that Orbison SANG about crying, rather than actually crying. He's smiling in the photo because that's what you do when you're proud of your work.

Note that Orbison SANG about crying, rather than actually crying. He’s smiling in the photo because that’s what you do when you’re proud of your work.

It doesn’t matter if she says she won’t. All women do. This is the unspoken heterosexual law: men will do anything to hold on to one woman, but women know deep down that they can trade up whenever the mood strikes.  Continue reading

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

A Wronging Endorsement

In the latter half of the 1980s, just about every teenage guy wanted to be Michael J. Fox.

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Kari Michaelson AND Nancy McKeon- ROWR!

He had indomitable charisma. He had charm. He even made voice-cracking kind of cool. He was likable yuppie Alex P. Keaton on NBC’s sitcom Family Ties, and spastic teen time-traveler Marty McFly in the Back To The Future trilogy of movies.

Then in 1991, after Brian DePalma’s Casualties Of War, Michael J. Fox was diagnosed with young-onset Parkinson’s Disease.  Continue reading

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Filed under Bad Influences, Eatable Things, Faint Signals, Nostalgic Obsessions, Worst Of All

Priviligious

I’m going to start off by asking nicely. Please, stop talking about “white privilege”.

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Now I’m going to be more honest and brusque. SHUT UP ABOUT “WHITE PRIVILEGE”. 

Why? Because you’re no arbiter of human privilege. You don’t know shit about other people, and you’re judging them by race.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

The Worst Comic Strip Ever

Every cartoonist has a cabinet full of failures. It’s part of the job. A maxim I live by is one an old writing partner told me:

They can’t all be golden.

That says "Headcheese", in the "Cheese" font. I was being pedantic.

That says “Headcheese”, in the “Cheese” font. I was being pedantic, not meta.

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Magazine Rack, Worst Of All

The Final Time-Out

I was banned from Facebook for 24 hours. I guess I shared a .gif of bouncing boobies with my friend, on a private page. I don’t know or care, to be honest.

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Go ahead, pull up Zuckerberg’s terms of service. Point out the exact fine print where it says titties are bad for social media. Tell me I’m on someone else’s digital property. Then print those terms out, roll them up, and shove them up your mother’s pussy. Sideways. Continue reading

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Site Stuff, Worst Of All