Category Archives: Movies You Missed

02/15/2018 · 3:42 pm

Arm’s Length

I won’t lie to you; I’m a conceited guy. I probably possess an overabundance of confidence in my own skills. As I grow older, I try to temper this arrogance, because I’ve seen how it can drive others away; friends, loved ones, fans. But you must understand the importance of this feature (not a bug). In today’s world, you have to be crazy to get anything accomplished.

I have a “Messiah complex”, for which I blame no one but myself. My endless vitriol directed at the entertainment universe springs from the concrete belief that I can do better for you. I can give you what you really want.

I can save you.

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Movies You Missed, Saturday Movie Matinee

Tagged as 1984, 2000s, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2005, 2008, 2009, Adult Swim, Aram Khachaturian, Atlanta, Atlanta Underground Film Festival, Bear With Searing Gas Pain, behind the scenes, Billy Jack, breasts, Buckaroo Banzai, Cartoon Network, Edgar Winter, Flash, John's Arm: Armageddon, laughter, Louis CK, Mike the Pod, movies, Newgrounds, Saturday morning cartoons, Sordid Hollow, Tailothepup, underground

02/02/2018 · 1:11 pm

In The Beginning

Set the Wayback Machine for 1998. I was at Kinko’s, in the middle of the night, running off copies of Mike The Pod Comix #4 (the blue one).

Those aren’t fonts. I didn’t have a computer. They’re typefaces copied from a book of antique alphabets, then literally cut and pasted. The rest is my own lettering.

The fourth issue was a transitional one. Drop Dead, my “90’s comic book“, concluded in its pages, in lieu of a seventh issue. I reprinted the Liquid Paper Pirates and Squeeky Wheel Gets The Grease strips from FINK, as well as For Whom The Beef Jerks.

Oh, and for the first time ever, I did full frontal, stark raving nudity. (NSFW!!!)

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Magazine Rack, Movies You Missed, Thousand Listen Club

Tagged as 1988, 1990s, 1996, 1998, 2000s, 2008, 2018, Bad Religion, Bands I Useta Like, behind the scenes, breasts, Cannibal Corpse, comic, comix, Drop Dead, Kinko's, Mike the Pod, Mike The Pod Comix, music, New Jersey, NSFW, Oingo Boingo, pre 9/11, Savannah, Sordid Hollow, strips, The B-52s, underground, Ween

12/01/2017 · 1:31 pm

Cheap Trick

Whatever happened to all this season’s
Losers of the year
Every time I got to thinking
Where’d they disappear

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Thousand Listen Club, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All

Tagged as 1987, 1995, 1997, 2017, Amber Heard, Bands I Useta Like, Batman, Ben Affleck, Blondie, breasts, Bun E. Carlos, Canada, Charlie Sheen, Cheap Trick, Christmas, comedy, comic, Corey Haim, despair, Disney, Don Francks, Ellen DeGeneris, Extract, Frank Nissen, Harvey Weinstein, Heavy Metal, Jimmy Kimmel, John Lasseter, Johnny Depp, Kevin Smith, laughter, Lou Reed, Louie Anderson, Louis CK, Matt Lauer, movies, music, Nelvana, New Jersey, Pixar, Platoon, political correctness, Rick Nielsen, Robin Budd, Robin Zander, Rock & Rule, Savannah, strips, The A-Team, The Man Show, The Matrix, Tig Notaro, Zach Galifianakis

11/21/2017 · 1:29 pm

It’s Not Real To Them, Damnit

So. As an adult, you have a problem with a movie that you loved as a child. I see on social media that this is a common grievance. I don’t need to name a film. There are dozens, maybe hundreds, of motion pictures that don’t stand up to the intense scrutiny and overthinking of 2017.

It’s not them. It’s you. You are the problem.

I’ll begin with a contemporary example: any current superhero movie. Marvel, DC, independent degeneracy like Deadpool and Kick-Ass; it’s all the same. Permit me to make another assumption- you got all worked-up over seeing the latest hero flick, and you left the theater three hours later feeling empty and disappointed, without knowing why.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned

Tagged as 1920s, 1930s, 1936, 1970s, 1980s, 2017, breasts, corporate crap, Francis Ford Coppola, George Lucas, Indiana Jones, Jerry Lee Lewis, Jim Henson, Joe Dante, laughter, Leigh Brackett, NYC, Optimus Prime, political correctness, Raiders of the Lost Ark, sellouts, Star Wars, Steven Spielberg, The Empire Strikes Back, whores

06/22/2017 · 10:15 am

Matty Watches Transformers: The Last Knight

As an “underground” artist, I go broke often. Sometimes I have to sacrifice comfort or nourishment to pay my rent.

Sometimes, I’m broke because I’m a total assclown who takes public transportation across town to see a $22 popcorn movie, alone. (I didn’t have enough for actual popcorn.)

Even while facing the consequences, I have no regrets.

I don’t know what the hell Al Gore had to do with the history of Transformers, and I don’t want to know. I had to sit through the trailer for his second bullshit global-warming scare film, and he can go fuck himself with an iceberg.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned

Tagged as 1980s, 1986, 1988, 1990s, 1991, 1996, 2000, 2007, 2008, 2017, 3-D, Cartoon Network, corporate crap, Dark of the Moon, Godzilla, Hasbro, Mark Wahlberg, Michael Bay, movies, Optimus Prime, Revenge of the Fallen, Robert Loggia, Steve Buscemi, The Simpsons, The Transformers: The Movie, Tom Hanks, Transformers, Zero Mostel

03/27/2017 · 1:37 pm

Signature Moves

Why is Walt Disney’s signature on Star Wars?

Look, kids! Vague, controllable versions of things you love! Signed by a corpse who had no part in any of it! BUY BUY BUY!!!

Not just his name; his signature. As though he was the architect of its design. Walt Disney created Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck, right? Tinkerbell, sparkly glitter, and magic castles. Horrible TV-movies every Sunday. That’s Walt Disney. Around 1980, I was into Star Wars to get away from all that corny shit.

Now you’re telling me it’s Walt Disney’s property?

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned

Tagged as 1940, 1940s, 1970s, 1972, 1977, 1980, 1980s, Attack of the Clones, Carrie Fisher, corporate crap, Disney, Ernie Fosselius, George Lucas, Hardware Wars, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Lemmings, Mark Hamill, Mickey Mouse, movies, Return of the Jedi, Revenge of the Sith, sellouts, Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, The Matrix, The Phantom Menace

02/26/2017 · 9:54 pm

Why We All Love Bill Paxton

William “Bill” Paxton (May 17, 1955 – February 25, 2017) was born and raised in Fort Worth, Texas, the son of Mary Lou (née Gray) and John Lane Paxton. His father was a businessman, lumber wholesaler, museum executive, and occasional actor. His mother was Roman Catholic, and he and his siblings were raised in her faith. Paxton was in the crowd when President John F. Kennedy emerged from the Hotel Texas on the morning of his assassination on November 22, 1963. Photographs of an 8-year-old Paxton being lifted above the crowd are on display at the Sixth Floor Museum in Dallas, Texas. [Wikipedia]

We all love Bill Paxton. Here’s ten reasons why.

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Filed under Faint Signals, Movies You Missed, Saturday Movie Matinee, Thousand Listen Club

Tagged as 1963, 1980s, 1990s, 2017, Aliens, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Barnes & Barnes, Bill Mumy, Bill Paxton, Broken Lizard, Cary Elwes, Club Dread, comedy, Dallas, Danny Glover, Fort Worth, Gloria Stuart, Helen Hunt, James Cameron, JFK, Jimmy Buffett, Kathryn Bigelow, Kelly LeBrock, laughter, Maria Conchita Alonso, Morton Downey, movies, Near Dark, Oingo Boingo, Predator 2, Super Troopers, Texas, The Terminator, Titanic, Tom Arnold, Tombstone, True Lies, Twister, Weird Science

02/17/2017 · 1:51 pm

Channel FUM

I propose a concept for a new 24-hour network.

FUM. The Fucked-Up Movies Channel.

By watching FUM, you agree to the terms and conditions of the network. In short:

All the movies aired on this channel are fucked up.
If you get fucked up by watching it, too fucking bad.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Saturday Movie Matinee, Thousand Listen Club, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All

Tagged as 1970s, 1990s, 2000s, 2005, Bling Bling, Bumfights, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Chloe Sevigny, Divine, Dr. Phil, Ewen Bremner, Gummo, Happy Campers, Harmony Korine, Indecline, John Waters, Keanu Reeves, Lars Von Trier, Las Vegas, movies, Nicolas Winding Refn, Ninth Cloud, pre 9/11, Sixtoo, underground, Willem Dafoe, YouTube

02/01/2017 · 12:02 am

Hate Proof: “You’re The Best (Around)”

Believe it or not, I have never seen The Karate Kid.

HI-KEEBA!

I know, right? Hasn’t everybody seen it? Well, sure, except for guys like me, who were totally and prematurely embittered towards the entire experience. Guys who were in sixth grade when The Karate Kid came out.

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Filed under Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Thousand Listen Club

Tagged as 1980s, 1984, 9/11/01, Bill Conti, Blade Runner, Bryan Adams, depression, Donna Summer, Dune, Frank Herbert, Full Metal Jacket, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Joe "Bean" Esposito, Marvel comics, Matthew Modine, movies, Pat Morita, Ralph Macchio, Rod Stewart, Stanley Kubrick, The Karate Kid, Toni Basil, Vangelis, Vincent D'Onofrio

01/27/2017 · 12:00 am

3-D’s Nuts

3-D movies employ greatly improved technology today. Previously, they used the same glasses as 3-D comic books did; cardboard with acetate lenses in red and blue.

My personal pair, since 1991’s Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare. (As much as would fit on my scanner.)

3-D comics were unreadable without these glasses. I still have two issues: Gumby 3-D and Transformers in 3-D #3, both from Blackthorne Publishing.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Magazine Rack, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee

Tagged as 1980s, 1985, 1986, 1987, 1990s, 1991, 3-D, Atari 2600, Back To The Future, Back To The Future II, Brain May, Casey Siemaszko, corporate crap, Dustin Hoffman, Freddy Krueger, Gremlins, hip hop, Hulk Hogan, Mad Max, movies, Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Optimus Prime, Parliament, Steely Dan, The Oscars, Three O'Clock High, Transformers, Tupac Shakur

Category Archives: Movies You Missed

Arm’s Length

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In The Beginning

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Cheap Trick

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It’s Not Real To Them, Damnit

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Matty Watches Transformers: The Last Knight

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Signature Moves

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Why We All Love Bill Paxton

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Channel FUM

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Hate Proof: “You’re The Best (Around)”

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3-D’s Nuts

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