Monthly Archives: March 2017
Kurt Ro-Bain
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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Idiot's Delight, Magazine Rack, Robot Toy Fetish
Hold Me And Cough
Okay, tell me I’m crazy. On Fleetwood Mac’s 1982 single “Hold Me”, immediately after the third “hold” in the chorus, there’s a cough, right? I haven’t been hearing things for 35 years, right? Right?!?
I hear it every time the chorus plays. “Hold me, hold me, hold- (cough) -ME-eee.” If it’s not a cough, what the fuck is it? A sneeze? A blob of mustard from a 3M employee’s sandwich? What???
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Filed under Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Nostalgic Obsessions, Thousand Listen Club
Signature Moves
Why is Walt Disney’s signature on Star Wars?
Look, kids! Vague, controllable versions of things you love! Signed by a corpse who had no part in any of it! BUY BUY BUY!!!
Not just his name; his signature. As though he was the architect of its design. Walt Disney created Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck, right? Tinkerbell, sparkly glitter, and magic castles. Horrible TV-movies every Sunday. That’s Walt Disney. Around 1980, I was into Star Wars to get away from all that corny shit.
Now you’re telling me it’s Walt Disney’s property?
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned
The Loudness War
From 1992 to 1995, I worked in the music store on the upper level of the Savannah Mall. Disc Jockey was the other music store, on the lower level and the opposite end. Our respective locations affected our clientele; we were next to the upscale department store, and they were next to the parking lot.
Of course there was a rivalry.
Despite what you might think, it was friendly. We all ate in the same food court, and used the same deposit chute. If a customer stumped our staff, we’d begrudgingly call downstairs and ask their staff. Sometimes one store knew something the other didn’t. Upcoming trends in music, promotions, closings, and firings within the busy mall.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Thousand Listen Club, Worst Of All
Just A Pod
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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals
Rock & Roll Will Never Die
Chuck Berry lives.
He lives in everything we love. If Chuck Berry never existed, neither would Back To The Future. Neither would you.
The Rolling Stones wouldn’t exist if Chuck Berry hadn’t. Life without the Rolling Stones is unfathomable. Nearly everyone’s parents fucked during or after Rolling Stones songs. Without them, the human race would have blinked out long ago.
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Filed under Nostalgic Obsessions, Thousand Listen Club
The Shnoz of Charles de Gaulle
Ahh, the French!
I adore them. Their art, their culture, their contributions to the enlightenment of our world. Hate me all you want, but I never felt prouder of Donald Trump than I did when he refused to shake Angela Merkel’s hand for a photo op. Trump didn’t want to get France’s blood all over his hand, and Merkel’s mitts are positively oozing with the spilt plasma of Europe.
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Filed under Animation Analysis, Eatable Things, Faint Signals, Thousand Listen Club, Unfairly Maligned
Captain Zip: Solarnaut
From BIUL #1. ©Matty Boy Anderson.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Nostalgic Obsessions
I Know Everything
From BIUL #1.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Magazine Rack
The 5 Greatest Television Show Themes
Do you know what a “cold open” is? Sure you do. Every current sitcom you watch uses it. It’s when the show just begins, no fanfare, no opening titles. Right into the action, because the producers know you’ll change the channel if you have to sit through 30 seconds of the same music every week.
Congrats! You’ve done exactly what was expected of you, and nothing more.
“Cold opens” are like “cold sores”. They spread easily. Saturday Night Live has done cold opens since before you were born. You’re used to it in sitcoms. Hell, you were getting tired of the “typical sitcom theme”, anyway.
That’s why they suck now.
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Filed under Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Nostalgic Obsessions, Thousand Listen Club
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