Tag Archives: sellouts

08/18/2017 · 11:54 am

How To Be Garbage

[Author’s Note: This article is about how to be actual garbage, as in waste and refuse, not how to be the band “Garbage”.]

Here’s a hypothetical and hard-to-believe scenario. You’re talking to someone about how much you like my comics. Just go with it, alright? The person you’re talking to suddenly pipes up with, “Oh yeah, I know that guy. Have for years. He’s a real piece of shit. Let me tell you all about that pussy.”

Congratulations! You’ve had an encounter with garbage.

This could be you!

It’s not difficult. Garbage is everywhere. It stinks, and we all have to deal with it sooner or later.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Site Stuff, Worst Of All

Tagged as 2017, 4chan, Atlanta, behind the scenes, despair, Internet, Jerry Lewis, New Jersey, Savannah, sellouts, social media, whores

08/10/2017 · 1:11 pm

You Can Pick Your Nose, But You Can’t Pick Your Fans

A stalker once told me, as though it validated his abhorrent behavior, “You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your friends’ friends.” Admittedly, that’s partly true.

I mean, you’re welcome to pick your nose, if you’d like to be ostracized from society and make everyone sick at the same time. You can pick your friends, provided they’re in the same socio-economic class as you are, and they don’t consort with a better version of your identity. And you can’t pick your friends’ friends, who, for all you know, could be royalty, or morally repugnant wasted orgasms.

If you create art and/or entertainment, you don’t get to pick and choose who likes it.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Girls of BIUL, Uncategorized

Tagged as 1970s, 2010s, 2017, corporate crap, fandom, Godspell, Internet, Manwoman, Michael Jordan, Monty Python's Life Of Brian, political correctness, sellouts, The Who, Tommy, underground

07/05/2017 · 12:38 pm

No Dark Sarcasm In The Classroom

Comedy stinks right now because you forced it to stink. You vilified every experience in life that makes a great comedian. You made the safe, sponsored version of laughter the norm. You’re so afraid to really laugh in front of other people, that you turned comedy from an anti-establishment weapon into a cottony security blanket.

Comedy stinks right now because of you. Because you’re afraid of your true feelings.

You probably don’t even know who this is.

Let’s take, as an example, one of these pusillanimous women that the media holds up as Queens of Comedy. You know the ones, I don’t have to name them. They’re all over glossy magazine covers at the checkout aisles, making “zany” faces to remind you they’re funny.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Late To The Party, Thousand Listen Club

Tagged as 1970s, 1975, 2008, 2010s, 2011, Amy Winehouse, comedy, depression, George Carlin, jail, laughter, political correctness, Richard Pryor, Saturday Night Live, sellouts, stand-up comedy, Tony Hendra, women

07/03/2017 · 1:40 pm

The Gadfly Trap

A gadfly is a person who interferes the status quo of a society or community by posing novel, potently upsetting questions, usually directed at authorities. The term is originally associated with the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates, in his defense when on trial for his life. [Wikipedia]

Imagine if you visited this site, only to discover that I had renounced my acerbic commentary on the world of music, and devoted my time to interviewing popular musicians of the day, in glowing “puff pieces”. How would you feel?

Betrayed?

From BIUL #2.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Podcastery, Thousand Listen Club, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All

Tagged as 1990s, Anthony Cumia, Artie Lange, comedy, corporate crap, Howard Stern, Jim Norton, Kathy Griffin, laughter, Marci Turk, NYC, Opie & Anthony, political correctness, radio, satellite radio, sellouts, Sherrod Small

06/08/2017 · 12:18 pm

Not For You

I’m old enough to remember when Bill Maher was a stand-up comedian; i.e., a person who stands behind a microphone and makes people laugh. I have vague memories of Kathy Griffin doing the same thing. As far as I can determine now, Maher and Griffin just make people mad, by saying or doing something deliberately inappropriate, and then flaying open their breast in apology, crocodile tears a-flow.

Then they go back to being unfunny. Because funny ain’t what pays their bills.

More integrity and realism than anything Maher has done since.

I’m also old enough to recall when Maher’s show Politically Incorrect lived up to its name, instead of being a vehicle for trendy virtue-signals. My pal Jim Goad once made an appearance. It was far more fringy and loose. Now it’s a reductive caricature, a safe forum for “differing viewpoints” (vetted by the network/sponsors). It’s a funnier joke as it is than anything that ever came out of Bill Maher’s mouth.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

Tagged as 1990s, 2010s, 2017, Bill Maher, comedy, Comedy Central, corporate crap, Family Guy, gangsta rap, Ice Cube, Internet, Jackie Gleason, Jim Goad, Kathy Griffin, laughter, N.W.A., Pearl Jam, political correctness, Politically Incorrect, sellouts, television, The Honeymooners, The Simpsons, whores

06/02/2017 · 11:45 am

Inner Circle

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight

Tagged as 1990s, 2015, 2017, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Atlanta, Bands I Useta Like, cartoons, Cops, death, depression, despair, Inner Circle, music, reality shows, reggae, sellouts, strips, suicide

05/19/2017 · 12:12 pm

Where Is The Love?

I don’t watch Jimmy Fallon. I don’t like him. I never have. Why do I feel bad writing that?

He is robot, yes?

Fallon didn’t get the job because he had the most talent as a late-night talk show host. He got it because he was the available cypher. He never makes waves, or complains about pay. He has no opinions regarding corporations, no matter how toxic they are, or how much pressure they exert upon his artistic freedom. He loves karaoke because he loves to imitate. He is permanently star-struck.

The perfect talk show host.

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Filed under Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Uncategorized

Tagged as 1980s, Adult Swim, alternative comedy, comedy, corporate crap, David Letterman, Flaming Carrot, Grant Morrison, H. Jon Benjamin, Harvey Pekar, Jimmy Fallon, John Swartzwelder, laughter, Mitch Hedberg, National Lampoon, Norm MacDonald, Richard Simmons, Saturday Night Live, sellouts, Star Trek, The Simpsons, Todd Barry

05/02/2017 · 7:38 pm

War Stars

I vaguely promised you, that if I continued to rage upon what J.J. Abrams and Disney have done to the Star Wars saga, I would at least try to make it funny. Well, voilà, space jerks.

I’m making a funny game of it.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

Tagged as 1951, 1983, 1992, 1997, corporate crap, Disney, George Lucas, J.J. Abrams, movies, sellouts, Star Wars

04/24/2017 · 4:12 pm

Forever Insufferable

If it were up to me, this entire website would be nothing but pictures of womens’ tits. Oh, except in the sidebar, there’d be a link to all the reviews I’ve written about Transformers toys. If it were up to me.

Wait a second… it is up to me. It’s my site. So why don’t I?

Good question. I could probably make a tidy income doing it. So why not?

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Robot Toy Fetish, Worst Of All

Tagged as 1980, 1999, 2009, 2012, Bands I Useta Like, Ben Affleck, breasts, Edward Norton, Facebook, Futurama, J.J. Abrams, Mike the Pod, PlayStation, political correctness, Saturday Night Live, sellouts, Spike Lee, Star Trek, Star Wars, The 25th Hour, The Simpsons, Transformers

04/20/2017 · 7:30 pm

I Never Liked You: 2 Live Crew

Can I let you in on a little secret?

Nobody actually likes 2 Live Crew. They stank. They were the kind of fraud that today, would be secretly sponsored by George “Fuck Everything Good” Soros. 2 Live Crew was just garbage.

I don’t know what a “puxxy” is, but I bet if you popped one, it would make a bad smell.

It was humiliating to stock, sell or even see 2 Live Crew albums in the record store. As soon as a customer brought one to the counter, you knew there would be a problem. The customer was always under 18, and thus forbidden to purchase the music; no one older than 18 cared about it. If they enjoyed rap, they had already moved on to something actually good.

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Filed under Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

Tagged as 1980s, 1990s, 1994, 2 Live Crew, Andrew Dice Clay, Bling Bling, censorship, Dr. Dre, Eazy-E, fake rap, Full Metal Jacket, hip hop, Luther Campbell, Miami, N.W.A., Outkast, parental advisory labels, PMRC, rap, sellouts, Snoop Doggy Dogg, whores

Tag Archives: sellouts

You Can Pick Your Nose, But You Can’t Pick Your Fans

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No Dark Sarcasm In The Classroom

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The Gadfly Trap

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Not For You

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Inner Circle

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Where Is The Love?

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War Stars

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Forever Insufferable

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I Never Liked You: 2 Live Crew

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