Category Archives: Saturday Movie Matinee

About “Star Wars”

THE POLITE VERSION

I am officially breaking from the Star Wars franchise, in all regards. Being that I am maintaining a fantasy fiction franchise of my own, Ceaseless Fables of Beyonding, I cannot continue to absorb the intellectual properties of other creators, for fear of possibly regurgitating them. Respectfully, I will not be seeing any upcoming Star Wars films, and will in fact be avoiding them for this reason. I wish the cast and crew, present and future, well. I’m sure the new episodes will be heralded as everything the fans have always wished for, and will gross billions of dollars. Please in turn respect my decision to distance myself from this franchise. Thank you for your understanding. “May the Force be with you.”

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned

MYM: The Killing of a Chinese Bookie

Movies You Missed: BIUL spotlights great films you probably overlooked. Tonight: The Killing of a Chinese Bookie.

In the mid-1970s, things were as different from now as night and day. The air and the sky seemed clearer, even though they were largely exhaust. The texture of everything was tougher, like cigar ashes and concrete. Getting into an automobile was like stepping into a luxury carriage; sunset and neon glinting on chrome bumpers, silk shirts against hand-tooled leather interiors. Music always evoked the experience of a show-stopping live performance. The worries and tensions of the 21st century were too far off to even surmise. The night sky glimmered with promise and energy.

They used to say, “anything could happen.”

And out of all this strides the late Ben Gazzara, sporting a white leisure suit, king. “I’m great,” he states with absolute certainty. “I got a golden life.” Continue reading

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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee

In Praise Of Screaming Women

I used to call myself a horror-movie buff in the 1990s, so I’ve heard all the grievances about “scream queens” and “final girls”. And, you know, those complaints worked; now every female protagonist in movies is an unstoppable “badass”. I saw the recent space drama Gravity, and I was mystified why so many people disliked it. Then I looked into the details; modern audiences rejected a Sandra Bullock who freaks out and cries when things go sour. Never mind that it’s part of a character arc; females must always be steely and in control.

Well, like so many aspects of modern film, that’s boring. Another victim of political correctness in movies is the Girl Who Can Scream. The scolds among us will suggest that men get a perverse satisfaction out of seeing women in jeopardy, but that’s only the perverts. For the rest of us, it’s a human fire alarm, when it’s done right. It signals that things are really, really bad. They even used to put it in the trailers.  

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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee

Trigger Warning

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The signs were there all along. It doesn’t take a genius to see what this means. It was only a matter of time. The evidence just kept mounting, until finally, the pressure was too much. Something had to give. Continue reading

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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Magazine Rack, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Site Stuff

10 Reasons Why I Love Gummo

If you’ve never seen Harmony Korine’s 1997 meisterwerk Gummo, you are doing yourself a great disservice. Rarely do I recommend a film so unabashedly, or so often. It has been my favorite movie for almost a decade, regardless of mood. I’ve seen it a hundred times, easily, and it continues to amaze me in new ways. And yes, it shocks, in a manner I draw great inspiration from. But beyond its often hilarious jolts, Gummo is the most explicitly human and raw film I’ve ever seen. The believability of the scenes- some scripted, some improvised- is so overwhelming and authentic, it pulls you into their world with all the force of the tornadoes that set the film’s events in motion. And you may find yourself every bit as devastated in their wake.

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Gummo loosely tells the story of the residents of Xenia, Ohio, a quasi-fictional town that was savaged by tornadoes at an indistinct point in the past, and never fully recovered. The film centers primarily on a small group of children, but as we explore their ruined world, we meet a larger cast of characters, almost all portrayed by “non-actors”. Some are legitimately mentally retarded. It all gels amazingly well, providing a heretofore unseen view of what liberal assholes call “white trash”. I love it so dearly that I could go on endlessly about it, so I’ve decided to instead whittle my thoughts down to my ten favorite (more or less) things about my favorite movie. Here we go! Don’t forget to put out the cat! For god’s sakes! Continue reading

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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned

Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)

O’Shloktoberfest is an autumn exploration of that rarest of substances: Decent Schlock. Each October I’ll wade through the sludge of 21st century horror so you don’t have to. 

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I think I should start this off with an open acknowledgment; Milla Jovovich is a great sport. Her obvious good looks aside, she has that Ukranian pluck that makes it tough to dislike her. She seems to be constantly in motion, typically crashing through walls and windows. I wouldn’t call myself a huge fan, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate that Milla Jovovich is out there blasting the dogshit out of something or other, usually while looking terrific if not kinda stoned.

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Filed under O'Shloktoberfest, Saturday Movie Matinee