Monthly Archives: May 2017

The Pac-simile

Yea, I say unto you, I was in the right place at the right time for two major moments in American history. You must believe that what I’m about to tell you is the truth; it will seem like so much legend and myth.

The first: I was gifted a copy of E.T. (the game) for the Atari 2600, on Christmas, but that is a tale for another article.

I HAD TO PRETEND I ENJOYED THIS.

The second, and more significant: I talked my father into buying me Pac-Man for the Atari 2600, one of the most notoriously disappointing games of all time. Second only to E.T.,of course.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions

Where Is The Love?

I don’t watch Jimmy Fallon. I don’t like him. I never have. Why do I feel bad writing that?

He is robot, yes?

Fallon didn’t get the job because he had the most talent as a late-night talk show host. He got it because he was the available cypher. He never makes waves, or complains about pay. He has no opinions regarding corporations, no matter how toxic they are, or how much pressure they exert upon his artistic freedom. He loves karaoke because he loves to imitate. He is permanently star-struck.

The perfect talk show host.

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Filed under Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Uncategorized

Lamest Last Words

From BIUL III.

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Filed under Comix Classic & Current, Magazine Rack

Forgotten Freedoms

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Eatable Things, Faint Signals, Magazine Rack, Nostalgic Obsessions

Rocketry Club

From BIUL II.

Kidding and perversity aside, we used to have “rocketry club” at school. Well, I didn’t; it was all done away with by the time I reached seventh grade. Kids could care less about the excitement of space and walking on the moon now.

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Filed under Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee

What You Need To Hear

I need to do my job as a website manager and give you something you need, that you didn’t know you did. Don’t get spoiled, this won’t happen very often. But if I’m hurting, which I am now more than ever, it means that the rest of the world is hurting even more.

So here’s what you need.

If it’s safe for space, it’s SFW.

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Filed under Girls of BIUL, Site Stuff, Uncategorized

Ancient Carvings

From BIUL II.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Magazine Rack

Chortle Combat

No reboot of Mortal Kombat has come close to the cultural coup-de-grace of the original series from the 1990s. It doesn’t matter how many new “Fatalities” there are, or how much blood, or how realistic the fighters look. There’s still a crucial ingredient missing.

The techno.

If these words are screaming in your head right now, you know what I’m talking about.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Nostalgic Obsessions, Thousand Listen Club, Worst Of All

An Imaginary Morning With Moby

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Filed under Comix Classic & Current, Magazine Rack, Thousand Listen Club

Declaration of Intellectual Immunity

Q: What can hurt you on the Internet?

A: Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

It’s impossible. You cannot read or see something on the Internet and become injured. You can only allow yourself to be manipulated.

So don’t.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Worst Of All