Tag Archives: Shia LeBeouf

12/22/2016 · 3:26 pm

Unfairly Maligned: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

For your benefit, I will begin this article with a warning: 18 seconds of this movie consist of Shia LeBeouf swinging from vines with CGI monkeys. I know 18 seconds doesn’t seem like a long time, but apparently it’s an eternity for some people. It all depends on your perspective, or lack thereof.

The sequence is so brief, it was hard to screencap.

In 2008, Harrison Ford returned to the screen as globe-trotting archaeologist Henry “Indiana” Jones, Junior after a 19-year absence. I myself have been (to be kind) fanatical about Indy since Raiders of the Lost Ark in 1981, so before I saw Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, I knew several things.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned

Tagged as 1957, 1980s, 1981, 1984, 1989, 2008, Cate Blanchett, Denholm Elliott, Elvis Presley, George Lucas, Harrison Ford, Indiana Jones, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Jim Broadbent, John's Arm: Armageddon, Karen Allen, movies, Mystery Science Theater 3000, New Jersey, Ray Winstone, Shia LeBeouf, South Park, Star Wars, Steven Spielberg, The Empire Strikes Back

12/18/2016 · 2:16 pm

Ze Brain On Ze Table

In case you’re a neophyte to this website and its redundant obsessions, 2009 saw the release of the hysterically divisive toy movie Revenge of the Fallen. To be kind, I reference this beloved turkey a lot. So often, in fact, that I’ve tried in recent months to avoid referencing it, to keep from wearing it out.

So much for that.

I bring it up almost as frequently as I do my time in jail. It even showed on the giant TV in stir- and the other inmates had seen it so many times they were sick of it. It was like hanging out with a hundred friends in a warehouse, bickering over what to watch. Continue reading →

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Robot Toy Fetish, Thousand Listen Club

Tagged as 1993, 2009, 2016, Bands I Useta Like, Candyman, corporate crap, Dr. Strangelove, Drop Dead, Germany, Hogan's Heroes, Megan Fox, Megatron, Optimus Prime, Peter Sellers, political correctness, Shia LeBeouf, SJWs, Star Trek, Transformers

06/14/2016 · 5:04 pm

Animation Analysis: The Transformers: The Movie

For the past ten years, one Rhode Island company has made me so deliriously happy, I’ve considered corporate personhood, so I could ask for its hand in marriage.

Hasbro.

They even threw in a rubsign. Hasbro is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

2006 was the year this little toy company had a subline of their Transformers toys called “Classics”; new figures of favorite characters from the 1984 cartoon. And a funny thing happened- these robots from an old show sold very, very well. Characters like “Bumblebee”, “Megatron” and “Optimus Prime” were familiar to a enviously broad range of people. They had staying power equal to Superman or Batman. The world was on the cusp of finding this out. Continue reading →