If you use the Internet like I do, you might have noticed the neologism “racist” being thrown around a lot, particularly on “social media”. Many are confused about the meaning of this word; often it appears to be arbitrary, and have no meaning. It seems to be applicable to anyone, living or dead. How can you tell if you, or anybody around you is a “racist”? Here’s my foolproof method, and it’s guaranteed to work, 100% of the time.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All
Believe it or not, I still watch and enjoy The Simpsons. Just not on Sundays when it’s new.
I wait however long is necessary until it’s on YouTube, and I watch it then. Alone. Often years after it aired. Why?
Because there’s no other way to judge it fairly. It’s ruined in its proper time slot.
Comments Off on Terminal and Malignant Fancer
Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Worst Of All
Possibly the greatest blessing of my childhood is that I was bullied almost non-stop for its duration.
How could that be a blessing? It prepared me for a lifelong career on the Internet, that’s how.
If you expect other people to make fun of you, regardless of what you say, you’ll do fine on the web. Because they will. No matter who you are.
How about a riddle?
Comments Off on Why Literally None Of It Matters
Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All
We have been experiencing technical difficulties. Thank you for your patience. Please allow me to use this opportunity to get us all on the same page. I’ve had a lot of time to think, away from the Internet. We all know how suffocating it can become.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Worst Of All
I tell you this as a friend. It won’t be easy for you, but worthwhile things in life seldom are.
Your feelings deserve to be hurt.
No guarantee exists in life that your feelings will be unhurt. No more so than your bones or flesh. In fact; let’s start off with your bones. Remember when you were a little kid, and your bones throbbed in pain all the time? What did the grownups call that?
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Filed under Bad Influences, Girls of BIUL, Worst Of All
This’ll be a quick one. Didn’t mean to be away for so long. These things happen. But let me make one thing clear:
I hate March.
Fuck “Smarch”, too.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Late To The Party, Site Stuff, Worst Of All
We need to talk. Does that phrase make you uncomfortable? Good.
Because yes, we’re breaking up. It’s been a long time in coming.
The problem is, you want to be uncomfortable, and you want everyone else to be even more so. You’re just a malcontent. A killjoy. And despite what you might presume, I am not.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Worst Of All
As an American man raised in the latter half of the 20th century (™Disney Corp.), my reference points all originate from popular movies, rather than real-life experience. When thinking back upon 2017, I an reminded of this classic Bill Murray line, from a film about to turn 30.
I don’t even get paid to do this, and yet I’m forcing myself to, for you. So at least pretend to enjoy it. Like 2017, it’ll be over and done before you know it. Fingers crossed.
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Filed under Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Late To The Party, Site Stuff, Worst Of All
Here is a foolproof, ironclad, never-fail method to keep your kids from being bullied. Ready? This is worth a million dollars. Here it comes.
DON’T HAVE KIDS.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All
BIG BOOK OF COMICS (SIGNED)
Original price was: $15.00.$10.00Current price is: $10.00.
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