Soft Human Flesh In Front Of You

An essential quality in a modern person is the ability to accept that some things don’t make sense. There will always be unknowables and mysteries. We will all go to our graves without the answers. We must make our own answers, to maintain sanity, regardless of whether our answers are based in truth. We must move on.

What if we can’t? What if we lack this essential quality? What then?

Humankind is slowly coming to understand that mystery can be destroyed with the help of the Internet. So many answers are revealed there, that you come to notice something. Something truly terrifying.

You can see where the answers aren’t.

Now you’re left to wonder… why? Why is everything explained, but this? Why can’t I let it go? Why is it actually keeping me awake at night?

What does it mean?

Let’s start with what’s come to be called “Pizzagate”. Sound familiar? There are literally people paid to attack you if you bring it up on social media. They won’t confess to doing so, not even under torture. Their boss told them to do it. As far as they surmise, they did nothing wrong. It was their job. 

So “Pizzagate” is all made-up, right? Okay…

  1. Then what about the pictures I saw, with my own eyes? What about the little girl with her arms duct-taped to the table? What about the nude grown man, crawling on the floor covered with “pizza sauce” and making lewd gestures? What about the revolting paintings of little girls, posed in bathing suits and shown from behind, kneeling with their hands splayed above their bottoms?
  2. Then what about the emails I saw, with my own eyes? Why would normal adults write emails about “getting cheese pizza” for two hours? Why would normal adults write emails about bringing children to these “cheese pizza” meetings, and go so far as to note each child’s age, in parentheses? Each child’s single-digit age?
  3. Then what about the list of initials of people involved, that I saw with my own eyes? Was I supposed to ignore that one was “TK”, the initials of a man who was Hillary Clinton’s running mate in 2016? Was I supposed to ignore the obvious connections to a high-powered marketing and promotions group, that just happened to fall under indictment soon afterward?

Is it really so difficult to believe that there is secreted elite degeneracy, some of the most powerful people in the country are part of it, and they’ll kill or destroy to keep it a secret? Even after it became known that the Democratic National Convention rigged the 2016 election? Even after the Podestas were indicted, and their marketing group dissolved and merged into Fusion GPS?

If it’s that hard for you to believe, either you don’t want to, or you’re part of it.

Now watch this. I’m going to prove my point.

I’m betting you know these two names; Jerry Seinfeld and Jimmy Fallon. Seinfeld had one of the most popular and beloved sitcoms in television history. His wealth and power are beyond considerable. Fallon went from a middling player on Saturday Night Live to a late-night talk-show host. My opinions of either of these two men is moot. They are the very pictures of success in entertainment. My respect for Seinfeld tripled years ago when he made Comedian, a documentary about his return to stand-up after his show. There is a moment where Seinfeld steps behind the microphone, in front of a full audience, and blanks. It’s excruciating.

So, Seinfeld has this web series, called Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee. It is exactly what the title says, except for the occasional non-comedian guest, like Barack Obama. You know, “first black president”, “Nobel Peace Prize winner”, exalted messiah of the Left, et cetera. Riding around in a car you could never afford in your lifetime, with a comedian who’s seen more money than you ever will, and couldn’t care less about you.

That’s pretty elite, yes?

In one episode of Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee, Jimmy Fallon is Seinfeld’s passenger. Not only do they get coffee, they get pancakes, in a diner. When the waiter brings the pancakes, the following exchange happens. NOTE:

I saw this with my own eyes. I saw Seinfeld speak the following words, which I have to post from memory, because the footage is scrubbed from YouTube. I read the closed-captions. The person who posted the video had to use a cell phone to capture it, so it wouldn’t have the exact ratio of the original footage, and thus couldn’t be automatically detected by anti-piracy software. They turned on the closed captions so there was no dispute that Jerry Seinfeld said these words.

Jerry Seinfeld: “Ideally, you want the texture of a pancake to be like young human flesh.”

Jerry Seinfeld: [to Fallon] “You’re the guy in the brightly-colored undergarments, and you’ve got soft human flesh in front of you.”

You tell me. What the fuck does that mean? Is that funny? What the fuck is that in reference to?

Here’s the video. [I found it. Watch it while you can.]

Here’s the other clip on YouTube. Pancakes already delivered. There was no “soft human flesh” “joke”. It’s clearly a figment of my overactive imagination.

So if the lines about eating young human flesh were harmless… why can’t I find them anymore?

Why are they scrubbed? So you can embarrass me if you disagree?

I saw and heard it. [Now you have too, unless it’s been scrubbed again.] Are you calling me a liar? If so, why? To protect someone you like and don’t even know? Protect them from what?

Why can’t I analyze these jokes as I would any other? Is it because they’re referencing something secret and unspeakable? Tell me, please, so I can sleep again; how was that material funny, and why is it being hidden from me now?

I mean, high-paid comedians make jokes about things outside their experience, correct? That’s why they’re so successful?


In Dave Chappelle’s comeback special The Bird Revelation, Chappelle makes it crystal clear why he walked away from Hollywood and a $30m paycheck. You just have to listen very closely. He left it all behind to save his soul. How can I be sure of this?

Chappelle makes an amazing joke about saying “ew” at an orgy.

Think. Think about what Dave Chappelle has been offered in his life, by people who wanted to buy him. Think about the incredible power he had; everyone loved him. His “Rick James” sketch with the late great Charlie Murphy is the absolute height of comedy. Everything he touched turned to gold.

Think about who might invite Dave to a Hollywood orgy, and why. Think about what Dave probably expected from said orgy. These are the “perks”, after all. He deserved a good fuck-fest, provided by the cream of the starlet crop, able and willing.

Now think about what would make him say “ew”.

Now think about the other patrons of the orgy, who are most likely masked, and don’t like hearing the word “ew”. 

Because it’s a bad word that children say. 

Get the picture? What do you think the punishment for natural revulsion at a secret orgy would be?

Ever seen Eyes Wide Shut? How long was the great Stanley Kubrick around after that film finally bowed?

Literally the only movie I will watch Tom Cruise in.

If Seinfeld’s lines about “young/soft human flesh” were just jokes… then why erase them?

Why scrub them from YouTube? Why risk the “Streisand Effect“?

Sleep tight.

Don’t let the bugmen bite.

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