Tag Archives: Mattel

Nothing That Hovers Is Good

A mere two years back, the new and hip way to get around was on a hoverboard. The word was first popularized in 1989, in the time-travel comedy Back To The Future II. Coincidentally, the segments of the film that took place in 2015 featured a “hoverboard” (from Mattel).

I dunno, the kids’ outfits are fairly accurate.

Rumors persisted for decades that Mattel actually produced a real hoverboard, for use on-screen, but parents’ groups kept it off the shelves. The truth is that the technology as depicted does not exist and never has, unless it’s among Tesla’s experiments. The fated hoverboard of 2015 was actually a board with wheels. It did not hover. Or work very well.

Continue reading

Comments Off on Nothing That Hovers Is Good

Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Girls of BIUL, Worst Of All

21st Century Hatfields and McCoys

The first brand feud I can remember is Atari vs. Intellivision.

Note Major League Baseball endorsement. And misspelling of product name in quote. Superior, my Aunt Fanny.

Some kids had an Atari 2600 game console; some kids had an Intellivision. (Some kids had an Odyssey 2 or a Vectrex, but not for very long.) Atari kids hated Intellivision kids, and vice versa. The TV commercials for both brands stoked this hatred; George Plimpton appeared in an ad for Intellivision, which he explained meant “Intelligent Television”. Ergo, kids who played Atari were stupid. Continue reading

Comments Off on 21st Century Hatfields and McCoys

Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish

Monchhichi

Like the lawn dart, a true line of demarcation between Then and Now is the Thumbsucking Baby. In cartoons and comic strips of the 20th century, if there was a baby, it was depicted with a thumb in its mouth. Maggie Simpson delivered the combo breaker, in the form of a pacifier, doing infants the world over a huge favor.

Suck this.

Suck this.

A pacifier has the advantage of being unattached to a heavy arm, which slowly pulls at the front teeth and palate, resulting in buck teeth. Buck teeth tell the world you suck dick like a champion. Depending on who you are, that can be inconvenient. Most people correct it with braces, to prevent this assumption. Continue reading

Comments Off on Monchhichi

Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions