Tag Archives: Mike the Pod

07/17/2015 · 9:24 pm

The Year In Mask: 1987-1988

Originally published on Mike the Pod, 12.16.09

I think we can all agree that this has been a mean year. Personally, the sudden and recent death of a close friend has tinged so many things with sadness; favorite movies, toys, books, comics… it feels endless. These are the trying kind of times that make us crave nostalgia, possibly out of a desire to return to when life was just simpler.

It was this craving that resulted in hours of NewsRadio-watching as of late. It was my favorite show when it originally aired, and I was a struggling actor commuting to Hilton Head for puppet shows and murder mysteries where I always ended up playing the killer, back when you could simulate gunplay in a comedy club without causing a serious problem. I had to do caricatures too, which I hated, but the tipping involved was unbelievable; after one particularly crowded gig on that shoe-shaped island, I thought I was going to get jumped on the walk to my car, due to the baseball-sized wad of twenties that was barely contained in my jeans pocket. I wouldn’t trade it for now, but there are certainly moments I recall fondly, often for their quaint simplicity.

But enjoying NewsRadio in 2009 requires a few mental concessions. You have to forget that one of the brightest stars of its ensemble was murdered, in his prime. You have to forget that producer Drake Sather, a talented comedian in his own right, killed himself about six years ago (although it’s possible you didn’t know about this until now, in which case, sorry). And the opening credits, spotlighting a New York that almost looks idyllic, prominently feature a pair of buildings you might have heard about that don’t exist anymore. To really enjoy the show, one has to climb into its 1990s comfort bubble, and revert to a simpler mindset free of the ugly truths we now know. Heck, people still laugh at Hogan’s Heroes, and there’s a whole movie about what that guy did, and what grim fate ultimately befell him. Also, that whole comedy-Nazi bit.

This is why so many folks come back to toys for mental comfort. I mean, sure, that’s what toys are designed for in the first place, but also, toys don’t suddenly snap and commit murder-suicide, or rob gas stations for coke money. Toys don’t join political cliques that make you lose all respect for them and finally come to hate them and their ass faces. Toys don’t make sex tapes, or hang themselves in a closet while beating off. People get attached to toys easier than they do to other people because toys are far less complicated. It’s a piece of plastic; you’re either entertained by it, or you’re not. Continue reading →

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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish

Tagged as #tbt, 1987, 1988, Kenner, MASK, Mike the Pod, vintage toys

· 8:33 pm

Ridiculously Short Stories

“Sir! We’ve decoded the message from deep space!” The captain jumped to his feet and rushed to the side of his subordinate, who sat before a panel that had come alive with blinking lights.
“Well, what are you waiting for?! Patch it through!”

The air in the control room was thick with anticipation. After what seemed like an eternity, the message crawled across the main viewscreen.

“I…AM…A…FART.” Continue reading →

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Filed under Bad Influences, Site Stuff

Tagged as #tbt, Mike the Pod, short stories

03/09/2015 · 2:04 pm

Spring Break Is Special!

This is it, folks; the magazine I’ve been teasing you with is finally here. And the best part? It’s ONLY $5! This incredible inaugural issue of BANDS I USETA LIKE MAGAZINE contains new stuff (like the Crumb comic and an extended preview of the “Jail” Comic), Cannabis Creeps trading cards, and Comics With Commentary- classic strips with added footnotes (like an explanation of the Van Halen strip)! It’s perfect for the best Spring Break EVER!

Don’t wait to get a copy off me in person- that is a real pain in the ass. Order NOW, and help support BIUL! Share the link with friends who love satire magazines and comix! Buy ’em in bulk, because just like Spring Break, they won’t be around for long!

Check the cover image below for more info, and to place an order. You won’t regret it!

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Filed under Comix Classic & Current, Magazine Rack, Site Stuff

Tagged as Bands I Useta Like, book, comix, limited edition, Mike the Pod, music, parental advisory labels, political correctness, R. Crumb, strips

01/22/2015 · 5:22 pm

Where We Differ

If there’s one thing I’m certain of, more so than I am that the earth is round, it’s that you and I are different. I don’t know you personally, but I’d bet my bottom dollar we wouldn’t click. I know this from a life of experience. That, and every single person I encounter informs me of thus.

You might think I have a problem with being “different”. I don’t. You do. Out of some deluded sense of camaraderie you felt from one of my comics, you thought I was “like you”. Then, when you realized you were wrong, you attacked me. You all do this. On the internet, on Facebook, to my face. I’ve dealt with this shuck-and-jive routine my entire life. I’m not what you want me to be, so you decide you’re gonna give Big Bad Matty Boy a piece of your mind. Because I’m apparently your little toon-scribbling monkey. Time to bring me down a peg.

Continue reading →

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Nostalgic Obsessions, Site Stuff

Tagged as #tbt, 1980s, 1990s, behind the scenes, corporate crap, depression, despair, Facebook, jail, laughter, Mike the Pod, music, political correctness, R. Crumb, sellouts, Throwback Thursday

12/26/2014 · 4:22 pm

Joewalshmas (December 26)

Joewalshmas is a Poddist tradition, whereupon we cast the lawn chair into the swimming pool, and celebrate all the ways Life has been Good to us So Far. May Joewalshmas bring the Good Life to you and yours for another year.

Twas The Night Of Joewalshmas

Twas the night of Joewalshmas, and we were rockin’ the joint,
with bitches and chicken and Matty on point.
The lightweights were knackered, passed out in their beds
in hopes a drunk Wampus wouldn’t pee on their heads.
With Ma in her leathers, and me in my suit,
we were poppin’ and lockin’ to some old Uncle Luke…
When from up on the roof there arose such a clatter
that I put on my pants, grabbed my gat and my ladder…
With my spliff in my mouth, I climbed up to see
the most funkiest shit since I quit PCP!
Not a Nick, not a Saint, not a jolly fat bitch,
not a yellow-eyed crack fiend with a terminal itch,
Now man this shit’s real and Pimps do not lie,
It was fuckin’ Joe Walsh with a gleam in his eye.
And what to my wondering eyes did appear
but a red Maserati full of groupies and beer.

And Joe, he just smiled, and tossed me a Schlitz,
and said, “Life’s been good to me, man, let’s get on with this shit.”
We dropped down the chim, much to Matty’s surprise,
with a sack full of goodies for the ladies and guys.

There was whiskey and absinthe and K.B. for all,
and adrenaline for Wampus who was slumped on the wall.
Joe brought liquor and dildos and a shitload of cheer,
and the joint was retarded but then Wamp got The Fear…

But Joe Walsh don’t abide his friends feelin’ sick
so he strapped on his guitar and tested a lick…
And it didn’t take much until Wampus was fine,
just the very beginning of “Funk 49”.

And before we all knew it, it was time to go,
but none of us wanted to say bye to Joe…
So all slobbering drunken we begged him to stay
but the Number One Eagle just smiled and said, “Hey…

“There’s no call for sadness, now Wampus, don’t cry,
You know I’m an ordinary, average guy…
“I like big tits, and I like me some beer,
but I really love spreading this Joewalshmas Cheer…

“And if all of the people across this sad earth
would just stop their fighting and enjoy Walshmas mirth…
“Then maybe an end to all war and despair
could just be replaced with hot licks and great hair.”

Then he laughed and he said, “But seriously, folks,
stop killing each other and learn a few jokes.”
Then, fixing his glasses and ruffling his hair,
he winked and then vanished right into thin air!

But then that dope Maserati flew right past my collar,
and a groupie fell out but I still heard Joe holler:
“Have a beer and a smile and treat everyone right!
Good Joewalshmas to all and to all a Good Night!”

And this Pimp, though he’s hard, felt something… a trace
sorta like in the movie when they murder Scarface,
And my chest it did swell with that Joewalshmas cheer…

…Anybody who says I cried is a lyin’ bitch.

HAPPY JOEWALSHMAS, EVERYONE!

–Dread Pirate Iceberg Slim

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Filed under Bad Influences, Nostalgic Obsessions, Site Stuff

Tagged as Eagles, Joe Walsh, Joewalshmas, Mike the Pod, music, Pod holidays

12/11/2014 · 9:34 pm

McNugget Anatomy

It may seem obvious, but when over a million people see your creation, it is quite a rush. When you make something that goes viral, I explained to a friend recently, it’s like surfing the inside of a tornado. It’s euphoric, but it taxes your emotional equilibrium, and if you aren’t careful it becomes an addiction. How would you handle the attention of a million people?

Sometime in 1999 (I think) I conjured up this piece, basing the shapes on the most common McNuggets. Nothing I have done since has elicited the same level of emotion and hysteria from readers, which I take great pride in. And despite my commitment to accuracy (for example, the crunch of the ‘eye’), I still enjoy eating the godforsaken things on occasion.

Before you ask, yes, there were t-shirts and posters. Grimace ate them all.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Eatable Things, Nostalgic Obsessions

Tagged as #tbt, 1990s, anatomy, chicken, comedy, corporate crap, fast food, Last Laugh, McDonald's, McNuggets, Mike the Pod, old internet, Throwback Thursday

12/04/2014 · 10:32 pm

Alask, Poor Popeyes

I’m sure by now a lot of you have seen the trailer for the upcoming CGI Popeye, and unless the sailor is a stranger to you, you noticed a lack of a certain tooty trademark. That’s right folks: a Popeye without a pipe is not a Popeye, and a donut without a hole is a Danish.

It defies all sense. As recently as 2011 we had a terrific Tintin movie with a captain who literally cannot function without liquor, and jumpstarts a seaplane engine with merely his breath. Even the portrait of Popeye on canned spinach labels in grocery stores has the pipe in his mouth. He cannot complete his own theme song without it!!!

I foresaw this gut-shot of political correctness as an 11th grader, and wrote this strip for the school paper. I redrew it two years later for the first issue of Mike The Pod Comix. The lines around the type are because I typed out all the Blockheads’ lines on my old Brother, then sliced them out with a razor blade and glued them directly onto the artwork.

1991:

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Magazine Rack, Nostalgic Obsessions

Tagged as #tbt, 1990s, 1991, comix, corporate crap, Mike the Pod, Popeye, Segar, strips, Throwback Thursday, underground

10/30/2014 · 7:55 pm

Kenner’s Action Toy Guide 1988

*Originally posted on Mike the Pod 05.01.2008.

Twenty years ago* was a pivotal point in the “male action” aisles (get your head out of the gutter) of toy stores. Hasbro’s venerable Transformers and G.I.Joe lines were still popular, but also beginning to feel the strain of their expanding lineups. In two short years, after infusing just about every conceivable gimmick, they would both be discontinued in the US. Micro Machines and a certain group of mutated sewer turtles were exacting their kudzu-like stranglehold of toy shelves, and it seemed like a new batch of hyperactive plastic-mongering cartoon shows hit the air every week. Street Sharks. The Fake Ghostbusters. Madballs. It was all a desperate cacophony designed to seek out the Next Big Kid Craze that would replicate the boon times of 1985, wallets flying from parents’ pockets like startled pigeons, compensation for all manner of arcane electronic injection-molded crap.

1988 was also the year that those of us who were young at that time learned that Nothing Lasts Forever. Children nowadays have the luxury of always seeing Star Wars figurines and Transformers on the toy shelves at Target, unless they’re sold out. In most cases, those toys have been available since the parents were kids. This was not the way things were in 1988. You could be wined and dined by a cool new toyline, read the comics and watch the cartoon, become a veritable wizard of the details of it, and then one day it would just be gone. And there sure as hell wasn’t an Internet to tell you why, or whether it would ever come back again. Anyone who loved “StarCom” as much as I did knows exactly what I’m speaking of.

But in 1988, no one had a clue of what was, inevitably, to come. Kenner themselves would be subsumed into Hasbro three years later. They went out more or less on top, with M.A.S.K. and many other beloved lines completed or underway by the end. Kenner’s plastic wasn’t always the greatest, and not every toy they made has stood the test of time, but twenty years ago, they were still bringing kids the ACTION. Luckily, I was young enough at the time to still rely on relatives willing to fund my expeditions into new and uncharted toys.

If you’re within this site’s recommended age group, hahayeahright, you may fondly recognize one of the logos on the cover above. I used to think that maybe the Silverhawks inhabited the same conceptual galaxy as the Thundercats and Tigersharks, but I was probably overthinking it. I won’t be covering Starting Lineup, not just because I don’t care for sports, but because looking at little plastic statues of ballplayers is legally the most boring thing ever. I would literally be breaking Internet law by posting it.

Continue reading →

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Filed under Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish

Tagged as #tbt, 1980s, 1988, Bone Age, dinosaurs, Ghostbusters, Kenner, Mike the Pod, Throwback Thursday, toys

10/23/2014 · 3:34 pm

Rejected Pokèmon

From The Last Laugh, December 1999 issue.

Believe it or not, this was the best scan I could get. Cut me some slack, it was last century.

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Filed under Comix Classic & Current, Nostalgic Obsessions

Tagged as #tbt, 1990s, comix, corporate crap, Last Laugh, Mike the Pod, Throwback Thursday

10/16/2014 · 3:09 pm

Softballz

SOFTBALLZ details the trials and tribulations of senior citizen Shelly Softballz, and his autumnal life as a hardworking newspaper cartoonist who’s never quite managed to hit the big leagues. It’s not for lack of trying, though; Shel’s work appears with some regularity in the Weekly Shopper, but only time will tell if he can conjure up that elusive million-dollar idea that’ll second-guess the syndicates. (Or at least a greeting card company.)