They Shoot Presidents, Don’t They?

Although I predicted that Donald Trump would become the 45th president of the United States, I did not vote for him. If I had, I’d be seeking help from a medical professional.

Despite being based in a hypothetical (admittedly coarse) quote, this is a terrific cover. Note the careful handling (pun intentional) of the depicted act; the woman is smiling and the finger is uncovered.

Not because I’m insane, you asshole. Because I’d be paranoid that a significant percentage of Americans want me to die in agony. And I don’t need that shit. I didn’t struggle to become who I am so that some high-school dropout could make me a statistic in a bullshit battle of “who’s the fascist”. 

Let’s pretend that I wrote an article about how extreme military force should be utilized to destroy Sarah Silverman, or Madonna. Why? Because I disagree with them, you Nazi. Who the fuck are you? Here’s an image I designed featuring the president of the United States being brutally murdered. 

What do you mean, “I’m being arrested and sent to prison”?!? Why should lose my job?? I’m not the fascist!!! All I did was joke about killing the president!

Why can’t I joke about killing the president? Other presidents have died before! A couple were even assassinated! I didn’t originate the concept! I’ve read lots of media that scares me! What do you mean, I’m “validating and abiding violence”?!?

Not overly original, but DAMN what a nice image. I’m seriously impressed at the economy used in Trump’s portrayal; no eyes, just mouth, orange face and hair. Five gets you ten, it’s becoming a shirt right now. Funny how it’s okay to depict a white American president committing a beheading, ja? Who brought that back to modernity, again?

In the halcyon days when the idea of Trump becoming president was a farce (you know, before the Democratic National Convention rigged the 2016 election), I kidded a friend privately that the Donald’s large cranium was a “sniper’s sundae”. Knowing that this was unprintable, I rebuilt the joke into the “Kennedy Skulls” page, and I still thought I’d get in trouble. When Trump was elected, I dropped the original gag entirely. 

Why? Because cartoons are propaganda. As a cartoonist, you have to be mostly impartial, because otherwise you are indoctrinating readers. You think I’m exaggerating? When was the last “meme” that caused you to react emotionally, or be aware of a current issue? How much of what you know politically comes from memes and Internet comics? That much, huh?

George W. Bush was so detested while in office that a documentary imagining his assassination was produced, in 2006. Neither you nor I have seen it.

You can create propaganda on the Internet until your face falls off. The worst you’ll get is a flamewar, unless some kid with nothing to do disagrees with you, and costs you your job. Anonymously, of course; accountability is dead for those who imagine justice and then exact it. Only if you threaten, even vaguely, will you draw the attention of federal authorities.

If you’re a newspaper cartoonist, and you write propaganda, your editor will dump you before the ink has dried. You won’t work again, either; not in syndication. Political cartoonists may lean to one wing or the other, but if they want to continue earning a profit, they play fair. At least, the better ones do.

This is probably the point where you’re rebutting me with examples. Note that none of the examples you supplied are considered funny. Mallard Fillmore, Doonesbury, et cetera; funny as colon polyps. Now, think about The Far Side. How political was that strip? Gary Larson doesn’t hold the informal world record for quantity of hilarious strips, right? (He absolutely does.)

How often did Gary Larson lose his shit, and turn in a panel about blowing Reagan’s head off? How often did he rant hysterically in public about what a monstrous fascist Reagan was?

That’s right. Never.

How about the great Charles Addams, who painted some of the most beautiful New Yorker covers of the 20th century? How often did he air his grievances with his country, during some of the worst times it’s ever seen, on the cover of that iconic magazine? How often did he use the cover as a billboard for his anger over the policies of a president, by depicting the extinguished torch of Lady Liberty?

Yeah. Neverino. Would not happen.

Larson, Addams and myself never cross this particular line not because of personal class, or fear of reprisal. It’s because we all understand how powerful propaganda is. A lot of misguided people are sharing an old Dr. Seuss cartoon, since it combines the “America First” slogan that Trump has used with the murder of foreign children.

I guarantee that Trump never saw this cartoon before he gave his inauguration speech. Now, The Dark Knight Rises? That, I guarantee he saw. And owns on Blu-Ray.

Here’s the thing about that cartoon. It’s not being shared based on its intentions. It’s shared because it supplants the falsehood that Trump is a Nazi, or has Nazi ties. People without answers want to believe this, because it makes their hatred of Trump noble, rather than unreasonable. It’s the same as calling out “Illuminati”, or “patriarchy”. “Conspiracy”. It all translates as “the world scares me and I surrender to fear”.

Dr. Seuss (Theodore Geisel) had to deal with real Nazis. The ones that shot Jews from towers*, stuck ’em in ovens, the whole, horrific shebang. The ones that invaded Poland. The ones that almost got Russia, until the Russians started using frozen Nazis as sandbags. That’s why he wrote that cartoon. That’s why it still works.

(*Not like “out of a cannon”, shot at them, with rifles. What’s wrong with you?!)

The only counterpart to the Nazis in our modern world is Islam, but no one in the media is willing to acknowledge this… because they fear the wrath of Islam. They ignore the Bolsheviks of years past, as well. Nigel Farage voices sympathy for America in Parliament, and gets called- you guessed it! A “Nazi”. Meanwhile, everything the Nazis practiced is the norm for Islam outside of the States. Everything that made America the way it is now; i.e., everything you enjoy, is being attacked by the Left, marching right alongside them.

Human beings are conditioned to the point where recognition of a symbol means naming the bearer as an advocate of that symbol. Swastika means Nazi, even though it doesn’tand the world has allowed this symbol to be corrupted, instead of rehabilitating it. It’s too recognizable and profitable as a hate brand to let it go. Never mind the fact that it doesn’t even have to be rendered properly, to work.

You think we’re in Bizarro World since Trump is president; do you have any idea how surreal it was seeing American women celebrate the hijab?

The hijab is literally the symbol of male patriarchy. That is what it means. A symbol of submission to men, and the superiority of the male gender. When I was born, women in Iran were protesting against it. Wrap your head around that.

See the cognitive disconnection? Right now, people are rioting against free speech, demanding submission, and casually kidding about killing a president. Celebrities are openly advocating murder, and the ones calling for sanity get egg on their faces.

Meanwhile, magazine covers, once a bastion of art and beauty, are abusing their station to display their resentment and scorn.


This is when the wags among us start claiming it’s the “End Times”. It is, but not for all of us. This is the death knell for everyone who’s out of answers. That’s what you do when you don’t know what to do; you lash out and destroy irrationally. I know, because I used to be that way too. I wrecked my fair share of property as a teen, and I received the proper bad karma in return. I used to butt heads with those who disagreed with me. All that gets you is a headache.

Which is what you’ve got right now, I’m betting.

Don’t blame me.

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