{"id":7711,"date":"2026-06-24T18:24:00","date_gmt":"2026-06-24T22:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/?p=7711"},"modified":"2026-06-24T22:07:19","modified_gmt":"2026-06-25T02:07:19","slug":"movies-i-useta-like-episode-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/movies-i-useta-like-episode-i\/","title":{"rendered":"Movies I Useta Like Episode I"},"content":{"rendered":"
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At present I am experiencing an overwhelming fit of pique, and I need someone to make sense of the following. I have never managed to view Martin Scorsese’s Taxi Driver<\/em> in its entirety.<\/strong> Not for lack of fucking trying<\/em>, but because something always<\/strong> gets in the way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Today’s example comes in the form of two separate uploads<\/em>, from two unrelated accounts, both<\/strong> of which start fucking up around the 1:01:00 mark, which “just coincidentally” happens to be when Robert De Niro as Travis Bickle begins constructing implements of death by combining handguns with household objects. Hmmm, gee whiz professor, why would the problems start there?<\/em> Don’t wanna give anyone any ideas,<\/em> huh?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So right when I’ve become most invested in the story, at the start of one of the most iconic scenes in cinematic history<\/em>, the browser “just happens” to start buffering intermittently, obliterating the mise-en-scene<\/em> that’s been carefully established over the past hour, and ruining the experience as I’m forced to refresh the browser in vain repeatedly, before finally giving up and starting this article. In a fit of pique.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first time I tried to watch Taxi Driver<\/em>, I was a teenager and it was on cable. The climactic moment when Travis Bickle mimes putting a gun to his head with his blood-soaked hand was immortally punctuated by the cable going out.<\/strong> My dad got pissed at me for hollering about it, and I was literally in my forties before I knew about the scene afterward where Bickle lies in a hospital bed, on the mend from his seemingly mortal wounds, surrounded by heaping floral bouquets and letters of praise for his heroic acts of slaughtering a bunch of guys.<\/strong> I’d been discussing the film at a bar with Jim Goad, and it was probably fifteen minutes of going in circles before I realized I’d never seen the movie beyond the finger-gun. I’d never known that in the universe of Taxi Driver<\/em>, the crazy Vietnam veteran who shaves his head and goes on a killing rampage was the good guy.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before anyone asks, I have no intentions of paying<\/strong> to see Taxi Driver<\/em>, not just because I refuse to pay for movies I watch at home and have already seen, but because I don’t need my paranoia verified when the fucking thing doesn’t play all the way through.<\/strong> I GET IT, CIA SPOOK-FAGS. YOU’RE AFRAID THAT IF SOMEONE LIKE ME SEES TAXI DRIVER<\/em>, I’LL START BUILDING WEAPONS AND KILLING PEOPLE. I GET IT, YOU PEARL-CLUTCHING SISSY-MARY QUISLINGS. I 100% BELIEVE THAT THE CIA IS THAT RETARDED<\/strong>, TO PULL SOME SILLY SHIT LIKE THIS. 100%.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why was I watching a 50-year-old movie anyway? First off, because it’s a masterpiece<\/em>, and second, I wanted to see if my hatred of Robert De Niro affected my appreciation of arguably his greatest film role. Unfortunately, I may never know. Thank the CIA and their psyop faggotry. It was my father’s method of keeping me from movies I was too young to see, but which I harangued him to show me; “Whoops, looks like the tape’s busted, sorry kiddo, it’s just not meant to happen”. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s a funny thing, when an actor or actress becomes or reveals themselves to be the most abominable sort of person, and having enjoying that person’s work in the past, you ask yourself; can I possibly stand the sight of this asshole any longer? Can I endure two hours of this absolute shitbird playing dress-up on the big screen, when I know them in reality to be so obstreperous, so utterly devoid of anything resembling class or decency, that I’d rather turn away out of embarrassment? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mad Max: Fury Road<\/em><\/strong> was once a favorite of mine. It was an amazing return to form for director George Miller, a perfect swan song for franchise veteran Hugh Keays-Byrne, and a master class in vehicular combat action. It was where I discovered Elvis Presley’s beauteous granddaughter Riley Keough. Its world-building is lucid and lusciously detailed, exploding the post-apocalyptic wasteland of Mad Max into a fully-formed, practical reality. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But then two things happened. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first was the release of the mystifyingly mediocre Furiosa: A Mad Max Story<\/em><\/strong>. Everything special and new about Fury Road<\/em><\/strong> became banal in Furiosa<\/em><\/strong>. Characters whose scant screen time once made them more intriguing were now just “around”, like they had nothing better to do. “Immortan Joe”, the peak of Hugh Keays-Byrne career, is played by some other guy, as though ol’ Hugh was interchangeable. Oh, and “Imperator Furiosa”, the role made famous by Charlize Theron, is played by a woman who took first prize in a “Looks Nothing Like Charlize Theron” contest. Charlize Theron looks more like Aileen Wuornos than Anya Taylor Joy looks like Charlize Theron. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which brings me to the second thing that happened; Charlize Theron revealed herself as an absolute raging cunt.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember how she looked in 1997’s Devil’s Advocate<\/em>? Soft and pretty, with a great smile? There’s a scene in that movie where Theron’s character begs her husband, played by Keanu Reeves, to “make love”<\/strong> to her. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That’s weird how she was able to deliver that line, because in a recent interview, she proclaimed that men who say they want to “make love” to her cause her to puke.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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