{"id":3263,"date":"2017-03-28T09:49:44","date_gmt":"2017-03-28T13:49:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/?p=3263"},"modified":"2019-12-05T11:21:54","modified_gmt":"2019-12-05T16:21:54","slug":"hold-me-and-cough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/hold-me-and-cough\/","title":{"rendered":"Hold Me And Cough"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Okay, tell me I&#8217;m crazy. On Fleetwood Mac&#8217;s 1982 single &#8220;Hold Me&#8221;, immediately after the third &#8220;hold&#8221; in the chorus, there&#8217;s a\u00a0<em>cough<\/em>, right? I haven&#8217;t been hearing things for 35 years, right?\u00a0<em>Right?!?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/wWdgTraidlU?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<p>I hear it <em>every time the chorus plays.\u00a0<\/em>&#8220;Hold me, hold me, hold-<strong>\u00a0<\/strong><em><strong>(cough)<\/strong>\u00a0<\/em>-ME-eee.&#8221; If it&#8217;s not a cough,\u00a0<em>what the fuck is it?\u00a0<\/em>A\u00a0<em>sneeze?\u00a0<\/em>A blob of mustard from a 3M employee&#8217;s sandwich?\u00a0<em>What???<\/em><\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>That video was directed by Steve Barron, who went on to direct 1990&#8217;s terrific\u00a0<em>Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.\u00a0<\/em>According to Steve, the members of Fleetwood Mac refused to get along, and the hot Mojave Desert setting only made matters worse. Like any male-female rock ensemble of the 1970s, Fleetwood Mac rampantly inter-fucked until they&#8217;d sooner barf\u00a0than look at each other. They petered out before they got to incest or child rape, I&#8217;ll give &#8217;em that. Fucking &#8217;70s were Sodom and Gomorrah with five-alarm chili on top. Kids used to listen to The Mamas &amp; The Papas with their parents. &#8220;Papa&#8221; John Phillips was an\u00a0<em>idol.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Nowhere does Steve Barron say anything about a cough, however.\u00a0<em>No one<\/em> does. Listen to &#8220;Hold Me&#8221;; THE COUGH IS THERE. Now it&#8217;s in YOUR head, too. Was it\u00a0<em>always\u00a0<\/em>there?\u00a0<em>What IS it?!?<\/em><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;Four of them\u2014I can&#8217;t recall which four\u2014couldn&#8217;t be together in the same room for very long. They didn&#8217;t want to be there. Christine McVie was about ten hours out of the makeup trailer. By which time it was getting dark.&#8221; -Steve Barron<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;John McVie was drunk and tried to punch me. Stevie Nicks didn&#8217;t want to walk on the sand with her platforms. Christine McVie was fed up with all of them. Mick thought she was being a bitch, he wouldn&#8217;t talk to her.&#8221; -Simon Fields, producer<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><em>Mirage<\/em> is Fleetwood Mac&#8217;s 13th studio album, where &#8220;Hold Me&#8221; was featured alongside the classic\u00a0&#8220;Gypsy&#8221;. It was released four years after fucking\u00a0<em>Tusk<\/em>. <em>Fucking\u00a0TUSK!<\/em> Look at the cover these assholes put together for\u00a0<em>Mirage<\/em> in 1982!<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_3264\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/fleetwood1.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3264\" data-attachment-id=\"3264\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/hold-me-and-cough\/fleetwood1\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/fleetwood1.jpg?fit=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"300,300\" data-comments-opened=\"0\" data-image-title=\"fleetwood1\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;ASSHOLES!!!&lt;\/i&gt;&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/fleetwood1.jpg?fit=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3264\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/fleetwood1.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/fleetwood1.jpg?w=300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/fleetwood1.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-3264\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><i>ASSHOLES!!!<\/i><\/p><\/div>\n<p>Our parents bought Fleetwood Mac LPs because they were popular and sounded very pretty. The cover\u00a0didn&#8217;t matter, it was just the package the music came in. This was taken as a tacit admission that album covers like the one above contain legitimate artistic merit, the equal of the musical recording therein.<\/p>\n<p><em>It&#8217;s just assholes!\u00a0<\/em>Outside of their ability to sing, write and play the music,\u00a0<em>WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK?!?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Too many dudes fantasized about fucking Stevie Nicks, and too many chicks fantasized about\u00a0<em>being\u00a0<\/em>her. Next thing you know, Christine McVie has been in the makeup trailer for ten hours. And the walking hard-on called Mick Fleetwood is pulling his randy English professor routine on every vagina within a forty-mile radius. The visual side of music is great, isn&#8217;t it? It never, ever goes to a band&#8217;s head, and jacks their egos around. It never plays to an artist&#8217;s worst instincts. Nahhh.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_3265\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/fleetwood2.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3265\" data-attachment-id=\"3265\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/hold-me-and-cough\/fleetwood2\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/fleetwood2.jpg?fit=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"300,300\" data-comments-opened=\"0\" data-image-title=\"fleetwood2\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;The &lt;i&gt;balls&lt;\/i&gt; on this motherfucker!!!&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/fleetwood2.jpg?fit=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3265\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/fleetwood2.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/fleetwood2.jpg?w=300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/fleetwood2.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-3265\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The <i>balls<\/i> on this motherfucker!!!<\/p><\/div>\n<p><em>Tusk<\/em> was a mess because Lindsey Buckingham was jealous of Talking Heads, and wanted to take the band ahead of the approaching curve of New Wave. In other words, he forsook his own talent. The members of Fleetwood Mac only created the music that made them legends when they were miserable, petty scoundrels. By nature, they could not reconvene and create more. It was lightning in a bottle. But the money and the lifestyle were just too sweet, and so Fleetwood Mac came to second-guess themselves. So it goes.<\/p>\n<p>No wonder these musicians hated each other. The women knew their passion was spent, and the men knew they could do nothing to reignite that passion. Not as artists, or even as men. Stevie Nicks ran out the fame clock on automatic, cashing in on her image with\u00a0her atrocious\u00a0&#8220;Leather and Lace&#8221; period. Nobody really liked that stuff. It was just what we had while we hoped Stevie Nicks would somehow become &#8220;Rhiannon&#8221; again. Somehow.<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/U_aYibUx1B8?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>That<\/em> is what these people were capable of, once. Alchemy. Magic. The power to hypnotize a mob of thousands with a single song. Have you ever met anyone who disliked &#8220;Rhiannon&#8221;? No. That person doesn&#8217;t exist in our reality. Why would they?<\/p>\n<p>The voices you hear in &#8220;Hold Me&#8221; are mostly Christine McVie and Lindsey Buckingham, as seen in the cringy video. Christine&#8217;s voice is actually superior to Stevie&#8217;s, but Nicks gets all the press. Ego and image always get in the way. Audiences are very adamant about which songstresses they dream of fucking, and which ones they don&#8217;t. If you give the public the opportunity to capriciously judge you by your looks, they will. As sure as shit will stink.<\/p>\n<p>If you don&#8217;t want to fall in love with Christine McVie, then I suggest you skip the following song. Try not to dwell on the fact that once upon a time, a woman could sing like this.<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/WJVWVtHWmAM?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s\u00a0<em>disco-funk infused,\u00a0<\/em>and it&#8217;s perfect (Perfect, by the way, is Christine&#8217;s maiden name). On the\u00a0<em>same album<\/em>, Stevie Nicks was in full siren-mode. Mythical siren, I mean; the kind that seduces\u00a0men to their doom, smashed to pieces against the reef.<\/p>\n<p>The best\u00a0Fleetwood Mac music is like being fought over by two beautiful women.\u00a0<em>Of course<\/em> they were all fucking each other.<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/mrZRURcb1cM?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<p>They were also fools for thinking music like that would keep coming. Most of us would be lucky to create\u00a0<em>just one\u00a0<\/em>of those tunes. What hubris it must have taken, to continue as long as they did. This band was\u00a0<em>worshiped.\u00a0<\/em>More so even than the Eagles, or Steely Dan, or Linda Ronstadt. They captured sexual turmoil so lyrically, the world beat a path to their bedroom door,\u00a0looking for answers. All their trifles and fooling around have salved billions of broken hearts by now.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe they were just a bunch of assholes, but they were the\u00a0<strong>right<\/strong> kind of assholes.<\/p>\n<p><em>(cough)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Okay, tell me I&#8217;m crazy. On Fleetwood Mac&#8217;s 1982 single &#8220;Hold Me&#8221;, immediately after the third &#8220;hold&#8221; in the chorus, there&#8217;s a\u00a0cough, right? I haven&#8217;t been hearing things for 35 years, right?\u00a0Right?!? I hear it every time the chorus plays.\u00a0&#8220;Hold &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/hold-me-and-cough\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5,6,7,10,46],"tags":[105,795,629,2650,2648,2651,2652,1716,2649,1224,1977,2098],"class_list":["post-3263","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dont-care","category-faint-signals","category-girls-of-biul","category-nostalgic-obsessions","category-thousand-listen-club","tag-1980s","tag-795","tag-629","tag-christine-mcvie","tag-fleetwood-mac","tag-john-mcvie","tag-john-phillips","tag-lindsey-buckingham","tag-mick-fleetwood","tag-music-video","tag-stevie-nicks","tag-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p53HmY-QD","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2483,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/thrills-a-retrospective\/","url_meta":{"origin":3263,"position":0},"title":"Thrills: A Retrospective","author":"MattyBoy","date":"09\/19\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"The life of a hardcore junkie. Addendum: The bounty hunter, his hand-shaped ship, and the Dinobots, from\u00a0Age of Extinction (spoiler) Same film: Optimus Prime blasts a hole in Frasier Crane's chest The downhill scene from 2014's\u00a0Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (with the truck and the snow) The brain guy, masterfully voiced\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Bad Influences&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Bad Influences","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/bad-influences\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"thrills1","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/thrills1.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2663,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/shiller-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":3263,"position":1},"title":"Shiller Time","author":"MattyBoy","date":"11\/14\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Thanksgiving is coming up soon, and that of course means Black Friday, and Cyber Monday, and the countdown to the big \"C\". Christmas, that is. The gifting season. This year, why not be prepared? As a suggestion, here's a recap of BIUL's burnt offerings. If you order now, you'll avoid\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Comix Classic &amp; Current&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Comix Classic &amp; Current","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/classic-comix\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"biul_cornucopia","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/BIUL_cornucopia.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1532,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/til-tuesday\/","url_meta":{"origin":3263,"position":2},"title":"&#8216;Til Tuesday","author":"MattyBoy","date":"03\/01\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Aimee Mann is proof positive that pretty girls can make great music. Usually you have to go back to Stevie Nicks, but she wasn't the artist solo that she was with Fleetwood Mac. Kate Bush is another example; \"pretty\" doesn't have to mean \"vulnerable\". It can mean power, the equal\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Comix Classic &amp; Current&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Comix Classic &amp; Current","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/classic-comix\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"BIUL_TilTuesday","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/BIUL_TilTuesday.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/BIUL_TilTuesday.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/BIUL_TilTuesday.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/BIUL_TilTuesday.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3631,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/mad-doctors-of-the-late-20th-century\/","url_meta":{"origin":3263,"position":3},"title":"Mad Doctors of the Late 20th Century","author":"MattyBoy","date":"08\/17\/2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Mad medicine was everywhere in the 80s and 90s. There were toys and playsets endorsed by mad doctors, for use by kids. Every time you watched cartoons, you saw a skinny dude with crazy hair in a white lab coat, maniacally mixing chemicals and potions for some nefarious purpose. Under\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Animation Analysis&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Animation Analysis","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/animation-analysis\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/dr_k_DKEETEFU.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3426,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/chortle-combat\/","url_meta":{"origin":3263,"position":4},"title":"Chortle Combat","author":"MattyBoy","date":"05\/09\/2017","format":false,"excerpt":"No reboot of\u00a0Mortal Kombat\u00a0has come close to the cultural coup-de-grace of the original series from the 1990s. 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Maybe they will finally uncover the reason why they are so vehemently despised by literally everyone who came before them. Millennials are despised because of what they say\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Bad Influences&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Bad Influences","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/bad-influences\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/movietheater1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/movietheater1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/movietheater1.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3263","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3263"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3263\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5144,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3263\/revisions\/5144"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3263"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3263"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3263"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}