{"id":3086,"date":"2017-02-08T15:16:55","date_gmt":"2017-02-08T20:16:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/?p=3086"},"modified":"2017-02-08T15:28:16","modified_gmt":"2017-02-08T20:28:16","slug":"the-commoditization-of-emotional-discovery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/the-commoditization-of-emotional-discovery\/","title":{"rendered":"The Commoditization of Emotional Discovery"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Feel like crying?<\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s an entire genre of movies, TV shows and music, explicitly designed to mollify you in your time of emotional distress. Plus, there&#8217;s a contrived ending that tells you everything&#8217;s okay. Or not. It&#8217;s basically sadness porn, after all.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/legocry.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"3089\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/the-commoditization-of-emotional-discovery\/legocry\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/legocry.jpg?fit=350%2C216&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"350,216\" data-comments-opened=\"0\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"legocry\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/legocry.jpg?fit=350%2C216&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3089\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/legocry.jpg?resize=350%2C216\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"216\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/legocry.jpg?w=350&amp;ssl=1 350w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/legocry.jpg?resize=300%2C185&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Feel like laughing? Same deal. Entire blocks of television programming are devoted to laughter, loaded with disparate commercials for unhealthy items and services. You can &#8220;binge-watch&#8221;\u00a0every stand-up special a comedian has produced, and then argue about a decrease in their edge, on the Internet. Isn&#8217;t that fantastic?<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><strong>Newsflash:<\/strong> <em>every<\/em> funny comedian ends up selling out, sucking, or dead. If not, they weren&#8217;t funny. Corporate interests see a comedian &#8220;killing&#8221; on stage, and offer the high life, which invariably results in a humor sprain and a loss of connection with the common man. These days a comedian can be destroyed easily by trolls, who will control the comedian like a marionette, with harassment. No comedian is funny when attacking their haters. Know why?<\/p>\n<p>Same reason no comedian bases an entire special on destroying one heckler.<strong> It&#8217;s fucking boring.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Plus, it galvanizes a crowd of losers, who attach their personal grievances to the comedian&#8217;s manufactured plight, and POW. You&#8217;ve got yourself a little\u00a0<strong>bloc.\u00a0<\/strong>Now the comedian&#8217;s enemies are the world&#8217;s. Now it doesn&#8217;t matter if you&#8217;re funny or talented: you&#8217;re &#8220;justified&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>In five years, people wonder, &#8220;what ever happened to that comedian?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Oh yeah. He either sold out, started sucking or died.<\/p>\n<p>The entertainment industry will allow <em>no more power than that.\u00a0<\/em>If a comedian decides to branch out into drama film roles, WATCH OUT. Changes in personality will not be tolerated. The comedian better be Sir Laurence Olivier, or they&#8217;re a running joke.\u00a0<em>Get back behind the mic, faggot! Your job is to make me laugh by telling me what I want to hear!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s what happens after emotions become\u00a0commoditized. Some ballet dancer wants to build automobiles. That doesn&#8217;t make sense! You&#8217;re a ballet dancer! That&#8217;s\u00a0<em>it!\u00a0<\/em>We&#8217;ve got automobile builders to do all the building of automobiles! Well, not in\u00a0<em>this\u00a0<\/em>country, we don&#8217;t. Emasculating brides and plastic in the drinking water took care of all\u00a0<em>that\u00a0<\/em>manly nonsense.<\/p>\n<p>Martin Scorsese makes movies that continue to challenge the viewer&#8217;s perceptions. So does Francis Ford Coppola. Do you ever hear about them, outside of tweets from asshole young &#8220;actors&#8221; whining that\u00a0old guys should\u00a0<em>just retire?\u00a0<\/em>No, you don&#8217;t. It&#8217;s too easy to sell a movie by putting a black person in a white role. It works like a charm, every single time. No ethnic group but Caucasians has a built-in contingent of self-haters, ready to supplicate before groups they deem politically popular or superior.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_3090\" style=\"width: 360px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/hamilton.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3090\" data-attachment-id=\"3090\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/the-commoditization-of-emotional-discovery\/hamilton\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/hamilton.jpg?fit=350%2C197&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"350,197\" data-comments-opened=\"0\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"hamilton\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;The critics are raving over &lt;i&gt;CRITIC-PROOF: THE MUSICAL&lt;\/i&gt;!&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/hamilton.jpg?fit=350%2C197&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3090\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/hamilton.jpg?resize=350%2C197\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"197\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/hamilton.jpg?w=350&amp;ssl=1 350w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/hamilton.jpg?resize=300%2C169&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-3090\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The critics are raving over <i>CRITIC-PROOF: THE MUSICAL<\/i>!<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Then you don&#8217;t\u00a0<em>dare<\/em> criticize these movies, because they were marketed directly to black people as a\u00a0<strong>respectful portrayal of their skin color.\u00a0<\/strong>This guarantees that a movie is known as a political bargaining chip, and nothing else. No white person dares speak out in criticism. These movies are artificially sanctified shibboleths. Hey; remember\u00a0<em>12 Years A Slave?\u00a0<\/em>That&#8217;s a beloved modern classic that deserves every accolade, and not a contrived political device, right? Oh, those Oscars, they&#8217;re\u00a0<em>so white<\/em>. Yeah, remember, too many white people is\u00a0<strong>bad.\u00a0<\/strong>Never mind the majority population of North America. Anyone who points that out is obviously\u00a0<strong>racist,\u00a0<\/strong>right?<\/p>\n<p>Try this: complain that Africa is\u00a0<strong>all black.\u00a0<\/strong>How many white people piped up just now, about how it&#8217;s &#8220;not the same&#8221;, because white people this, white people that, evil, racism,\u00a0<em>blah blah blah?\u00a0<\/em>Maybe consider\u00a0<strong>dropping<\/strong> the idea of talking about mass groups of people, of any\u00a0region. Ah, but that requires\u00a0<strong>critical thinking.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>No film studio expects American audiences to think critically anymore.\u00a0<em>Deadpool<\/em>, a thing that I firmly believe everyone involved should be killed for, was lauded as an underground success story and an independent wonder.\u00a0<strong>It&#8217;s garbage.\u00a0<\/strong>You can&#8217;t honestly claim I&#8217;m stupid for liking Michael Bay\u00a0<em>Transformers<\/em> movies, and defend\u00a0<em>Deadpool.\u00a0<\/em>You&#8217;re a dunce if you do.\u00a0<em>Deadpool\u00a0<\/em>was made for idiots that consume garbage 24\/7.<\/p>\n<p>The average person has\u00a0<em>no background<\/em>\u00a0on Deadpool. People said &#8220;hey, Spiderman has guns and is cursing for some reason. I think I&#8217;ll check this out!&#8221; Some girls will literally watch Ryan Reynolds in anything, which is why the guy can&#8217;t sustain his stardom for over two years at a time. That&#8217;s\u00a0all. It had nothing to do with anything Rob Liefeld created.\u00a0<em>Nothing.\u00a0<\/em>It was 100% manufactured by marketing.<\/p>\n<p>Doesn&#8217;t matter though!\u00a0<em>Deadpool\u00a0<\/em>made a billion dollars! Precedent has been established! Even though the bar was already lowered, with Mark Millar&#8217;s appalling\u00a0<em>Kick-Ass,\u00a0<\/em>and its sequel, which\u00a0<em>Jim Carrey \u00a0<\/em>disavowed after starring in. Jim Carrey, the star of\u00a0<em>Number 23\u00a0<\/em>and\u00a0<em>Horton Hears A Who!<\/em> You know, another one of these fucking comedians that America deified, and discarded. That doesn&#8217;t happen every year, right?<\/p>\n<p>When was the last time anyone talked about\u00a0<em>Deadpool?<\/em><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_3091\" style=\"width: 246px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/deadpool.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3091\" data-attachment-id=\"3091\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/the-commoditization-of-emotional-discovery\/deadpool\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/deadpool.jpg?fit=236%2C350&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"236,350\" data-comments-opened=\"0\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"deadpool\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Stupid is as stupid does. &lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/deadpool.jpg?fit=236%2C350&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3091\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/deadpool.jpg?resize=236%2C350\" alt=\"\" width=\"236\" height=\"350\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/deadpool.jpg?w=236&amp;ssl=1 236w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/deadpool.jpg?resize=202%2C300&amp;ssl=1 202w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 236px) 100vw, 236px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-3091\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Shitty is as shitty does.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>People don&#8217;t watch comedians to laugh anymore. They watch them to have their internal prejudices warmed and verified. When was the last comedian you quoted, on the basis of being witty? Or do you quote them because they voice your peeves better than you ever could?<\/p>\n<p>Is that why you listen to the music that you do? So that you can evoke a false emotion on command? So you can attach yourself to an established ideology, based on a person who went out and did the hard work, preaching it? Do you have a void within yourself, that makes you subconsciously seek answers from\u00a0<em>fucking entertainers?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>What happened to\u00a0<em>discovering the answers on your own?\u00a0<\/em>Odds are, your parents digested entertainment as they would any trivial matter. They\u00a0<em>never<\/em> built a lifestyle out of it. Compared to you, they were pragmatic. They&#8217;d be disgusted if you suggested that they copped their image from some performer on TV.<\/p>\n<p>The current generation is so weak that they howl at their\u00a0chosen idols to fix their lives. People see some stupid asshole living in a giant mansion, and they never look into the details, they just\u00a0<em>envy.\u00a0<\/em>Look at what a despicable pig this rapper is, and how huge his house is! Obviously, I can drop all pretense at politeness now!<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s why the rioting scum thinks they&#8217;re in the right. Because\u00a0<em>entertainment conditioned them that way, their entire lives.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t like to point fingers at things I love, but Transformers have a hand in\u00a0this. So\u00a0does Superman. A robot without a symbol on its chest is just a robot. A Superman without an S on his chest is just a guy in long underwear.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_3087\" style=\"width: 360px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/gobots.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3087\" data-attachment-id=\"3087\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/the-commoditization-of-emotional-discovery\/gobots-2\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/gobots.jpg?fit=350%2C244&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"350,244\" data-comments-opened=\"0\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"gobots\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Who? Exactly.&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/gobots.jpg?fit=350%2C244&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3087\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/gobots.jpg?resize=350%2C244\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"244\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/gobots.jpg?w=350&amp;ssl=1 350w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/gobots.jpg?resize=300%2C209&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-3087\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Who? Exactly.<\/p><\/div>\n<p><strong>Get it?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Kids today see a symbol and they\u00a0<em>don&#8217;t think critically about it.\u00a0<\/em>Then adults chime in, and explain all the prejudices and issues that the symbol represents.\u00a0<strong>BOOM.\u00a0<\/strong>You have a programmed hater. You have permanently prejudiced a child in the matters of right and wrong. <strong>Forever.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Today&#8217;s kids see everything on a screen, represented by icons. On sight, they are able to determine who&#8217;s &#8220;right&#8221; or &#8220;wrong&#8221;, based on their social programming. Morons hue and cry over Trump having access to the &#8220;nuclear button&#8221;. Meanwhile, children everywhere are literal Manchurian candidates, that can be\u00a0<strong>&#8220;triggered&#8221;\u00a0<\/strong>with a\u00a0<strong>simple word or image.\u00a0<\/strong>You took\u00a0<strong>one image,\u00a0<\/strong>and gave it all the power in the world. <strong>Nice work.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_3088\" style=\"width: 260px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/triggering.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3088\" data-attachment-id=\"3088\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/the-commoditization-of-emotional-discovery\/triggering\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/triggering.jpg?fit=250%2C294&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"250,294\" data-comments-opened=\"0\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"triggering\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;If you can be &amp;#8220;triggered&amp;#8221;, you are no better than a bomb, and you MUST BE DESTROYED FOR THE SAFETY OF OTHERS.&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/triggering.jpg?fit=250%2C294&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-3088 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/triggering.jpg?resize=250%2C294\" width=\"250\" height=\"294\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-3088\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">If you can be &#8220;triggered&#8221;, you are no different than a <strong>bomb<\/strong>, and you <strong>MUST BE DESTROYED FOR THE SAFETY OF OTHERS.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n<p>There is no legitimate reason to expose children to social media, other than subliminal programming. None of our successful predecessors used it. Emotions are fully commoditized there. Lies are indistinguishable from truth. Companies like Twitter openly suppress opinions and viewpoints, for their masters. The solitary reason a child has\u00a0a smartphone is because their parents want to look better than their peers. That&#8217;s it. That&#8217;s why kids have fucking smartphones. Social status. Nothing more. Any security a smartphone provides is an illusion.<\/p>\n<p>If you introduce a child to the Internet, and one of their first reactions\u00a0is\u00a0<strong>&#8220;this is pointless&#8221;,\u00a0<\/strong>congratulations. You&#8217;ve raised kids who appreciate life. The Internet is only a reference. Unfortunately, it&#8217;s now a reference of how goddamn stupid most of the world&#8217;s population has allowed themselves to become.<\/p>\n<p>Look around you. Literally every single advertisement plays on your emotions. They found new and insidious ways to do it, and you let them right into your family home, like a trusted adviser. An authority. The government&#8217;s buddy, who&#8217;ll make sure you eat and think the &#8220;right things&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s why McDonald&#8217;s made hamburgers perfectly circular, and every movie disappoints you. Because it&#8217;s not profitable to give you more than you expect.<\/p>\n<p>The industries\u00a0<strong>know how you feel.\u00a0<\/strong>That&#8217;s the problem.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Feel like crying? There&#8217;s an entire genre of movies, TV shows and music, explicitly designed to mollify you in your time of emotional distress. Plus, there&#8217;s a contrived ending that tells you everything&#8217;s okay. Or not. It&#8217;s basically sadness porn, &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/the-commoditization-of-emotional-discovery\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5,78,8,10,76,1,77],"tags":[2008,18,56,2485,1236,2489,860,2488,1223,1085,25,2487,1541,132,367,83,14,158,1193,91,2486,51,1060,463,1792,2248,2439,366,227,1913,52],"class_list":["post-3086","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dont-care","category-eatable-things","category-idiots-delight","category-nostalgic-obsessions","category-robot-toy-fetish","category-uncategorized","category-worst-of-all","tag-2010s","tag-comedy","tag-corporate-crap","tag-deadpool","tag-donald-trump","tag-francis-ford-coppola","tag-gobots","tag-hamilton-the-musical","tag-internet","tag-jim-carrey","tag-laughter","tag-mark-millar","tag-martin-scorcese","tag-mcdonalds","tag-michael-bay","tag-movies","tag-music","tag-political-correctness","tag-pop-music","tag-rob-liefeld","tag-ryan-reynolds","tag-sellouts","tag-sjws","tag-smartphones","tag-stand-up-comedy","tag-superman","tag-the-oscars","tag-transformers","tag-trigger-warning","tag-twitter","tag-whores"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p53HmY-NM","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3589,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/no-dark-sarcasm-in-the-classroom\/","url_meta":{"origin":3086,"position":0},"title":"No Dark Sarcasm In The Classroom","author":"MattyBoy","date":"07\/05\/2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Comedy stinks right now because you forced it to stink. You vilified every experience in life that makes a great comedian. You made the safe, sponsored version of laughter the norm. You're so afraid to\u00a0really laugh in front of other people, that you turned comedy from an anti-establishment weapon into\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Bad Influences&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Bad Influences","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/bad-influences\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/comedy1.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1251,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/freedy-johnston\/","url_meta":{"origin":3086,"position":1},"title":"Freedy Johnston","author":"MattyBoy","date":"01\/09\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Freedy Johnston is a New York-based singer\/songwriter who was born in Kansas. His lyrics are articulate and literary, and of a quality not heard since the days of Gordon Lightfoot and Laura Nyro. He has been called \"a songwriter's songwriter\", and his work has been featured in movie soundtracks, most\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Bad Influences&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Bad Influences","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/bad-influences\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Not pictured: Freedy Johnston.","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/freedy1.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":907,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/the-10-funniest-movies-ever-plus-5\/","url_meta":{"origin":3086,"position":2},"title":"The 10 Funniest Movies Ever (Plus 5)","author":"MattyBoy","date":"11\/13\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The most powerful force known to our world is laughter. This is why films that make us laugh are so precious. We carry them through generations on numerous formats, and celebrate the comedians who've since left us. We share them with friends and loved ones, so we can laugh together.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Bad Influences&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Bad Influences","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/bad-influences\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/10fun1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/10fun1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/10fun1.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1389,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/a-cant-miss-proposition\/","url_meta":{"origin":3086,"position":3},"title":"A Can&#8217;t-Miss Proposition","author":"MattyBoy","date":"02\/01\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"2009 was a tense year for\u00a0BIUL; I was still decompressing post-movie production, and dealing with myriad life-changing bullshit. At some point I drew a comic strip about Living Colour. Often, I get a little too \"inside\" and I'm unsure if I'm getting the joke across clearly. The punch panel shows\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Bad Influences&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Bad Influences","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/bad-influences\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"No idea who the woman with the awful hair is supposed to be.","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/BIUL_LivingColour.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/BIUL_LivingColour.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/BIUL_LivingColour.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/BIUL_LivingColour.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1815,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/dental-hygiene-dilemma\/","url_meta":{"origin":3086,"position":4},"title":"&#8220;Dental Hygiene Dilemma&#8221;","author":"MattyBoy","date":"04\/23\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Thanks to the generous social programs in my fair city, I recently got my teeth fixed, ending over a decade of busted-molar jokes and references in my work. In essence, I no longer feel like I have a mouthful of bloody razors. Once everything healed up, I couldn't believe how\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Bad Influences&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Bad Influences","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/bad-influences\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Wanna watch a dental hygiene movie?","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/dental3.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1180,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/theyre-all-gonna-laugh-at-you\/","url_meta":{"origin":3086,"position":5},"title":"They&#8217;re All Gonna Laugh At You!","author":"MattyBoy","date":"12\/30\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I seldom forget a good paroxysm of laughter. For example, one of the best memories of my time working at the mall record store involves an album played after closing, one night in 1993. 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