{"id":305,"date":"2014-12-26T16:22:08","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T21:22:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/?p=305"},"modified":"2015-12-25T12:29:42","modified_gmt":"2015-12-25T17:29:42","slug":"joewalshmas-december-26","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/joewalshmas-december-26\/","title":{"rendered":"Joewalshmas (December 26)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Joewalshmas<\/strong> is a Poddist tradition, whereupon we cast the lawn chair into the swimming pool, and celebrate all the ways Life has been Good to us So Far. May Joewalshmas bring the Good Life to you and yours for another year.<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/U_qHU_6Ofc0?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Rt75y38J00s?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/ljSuROOUxg8?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/8KKNsC9oHS4?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Twas The Night Of Joewalshmas<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;\"><b>T<\/b>was the night of\u00a0<b>Joewalshmas<\/b>, and we were rockin&#8217; the joint,<br \/>\nwith bitches and chicken and Matty on point.<br \/>\nThe lightweights were knackered, passed out in their beds<br \/>\nin hopes a drunk Wampus wouldn&#8217;t pee on their heads.<br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;\"><b>W<\/b>ith Ma in her leathers, and me in my suit,<br \/>\nwe were poppin&#8217; and lockin&#8217; to some old Uncle Luke&#8230;<br \/>\nWhen from up on the roof there arose such a clatter<br \/>\nthat I put on my pants, grabbed my gat and my ladder&#8230;<br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;\"><b>W<\/b>ith my spliff in my mouth, I climbed up to see<br \/>\nthe most funkiest shit since I quit PCP!<br \/>\nNot a Nick, not a Saint, not a jolly fat bitch,<br \/>\nnot a yellow-eyed crack fiend with a terminal itch,<br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;\"><b>N<\/b>ow man this shit&#8217;s real and Pimps do not lie,<br \/>\nIt was fuckin&#8217; Joe Walsh with a gleam in his eye.<br \/>\nAnd what to my wondering eyes did appear<br \/>\nbut a red Maserati full of groupies and beer.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;\"><b>A<\/b>nd Joe, he just smiled, and tossed me a Schlitz,<br \/>\nand said, &#8220;Life&#8217;s been good to me, man, let&#8217;s get on with this shit.&#8221;<br \/>\nWe dropped down the chim, much to Matty&#8217;s surprise,<br \/>\nwith a sack full of goodies for the ladies and guys.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;\"><b>T<\/b>here was whiskey and absinthe and K.B. for all,<br \/>\nand adrenaline for Wampus who was slumped on the wall.<br \/>\nJoe brought liquor and dildos and a shitload of cheer,<br \/>\nand the joint was retarded but then Wamp got The Fear&#8230;<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;\"><b>B<\/b>ut Joe Walsh don&#8217;t abide his friends feelin&#8217; sick<br \/>\nso he strapped on his guitar and tested a lick&#8230;<br \/>\nAnd it didn&#8217;t take much until Wampus was fine,<br \/>\njust the very beginning of &#8220;Funk 49&#8221;.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;\"><b>A<\/b>nd before we all knew it, it was time to go,<br \/>\nbut none of us wanted to say bye to Joe&#8230;<br \/>\nSo all slobbering drunken we begged him to stay<br \/>\nbut the Number One Eagle just smiled and said, &#8220;Hey&#8230;<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;\"><b>&#8220;T<\/b>here&#8217;s no call for sadness, now Wampus, don&#8217;t cry,<br \/>\nYou know I&#8217;m an ordinary, average guy&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;I like big tits, and I like me some beer,<br \/>\nbut I really love spreading this Joewalshmas Cheer&#8230;<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;\"><b>&#8220;A<\/b>nd if all of the people across this sad earth<br \/>\nwould just stop their fighting and enjoy Walshmas mirth&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8220;Then maybe an end to all war and despair<br \/>\ncould just be replaced with hot licks and great hair.&#8221;<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;\"><b>T<\/b>hen he laughed and he said, &#8220;But seriously, folks,<br \/>\nstop killing each other and learn a few jokes.&#8221;<br \/>\nThen, fixing his glasses and ruffling his hair,<br \/>\nhe winked and then vanished right into thin air!<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;\"><b>B<\/b>ut then that dope Maserati flew right past my collar,<br \/>\nand a groupie fell out but I still heard Joe holler:<br \/>\n&#8220;Have a beer and a smile and treat everyone right!<br \/>\nGood Joewalshmas to all and to all a Good Night!&#8221;<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;\"><b>A<\/b>nd this Pimp, though he&#8217;s hard, felt something&#8230; a trace<br \/>\nsorta like in the movie when they murder Scarface,<br \/>\nAnd my chest it did swell with that Joewalshmas cheer&#8230;<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;\"><b>&#8230;A<\/b>nybody who says I cried is a lyin&#8217; bitch.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;\"><b>HAPPY JOEWALSHMAS, EVERYONE!<br \/>\n<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;\">&#8211;Dread Pirate Iceberg Slim<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/joewalshmas.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"306\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/joewalshmas-december-26\/joewalshmas\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/joewalshmas.jpg?fit=500%2C696&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"500,696\" data-comments-opened=\"0\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"joewalshmas\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/joewalshmas.jpg?fit=500%2C696&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-306\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/joewalshmas.jpg?resize=500%2C696\" alt=\"joewalshmas\" width=\"500\" height=\"696\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/joewalshmas.jpg?w=500&amp;ssl=1 500w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/joewalshmas.jpg?resize=216%2C300&amp;ssl=1 216w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Joewalshmas is a Poddist tradition, whereupon we cast the lawn chair into the swimming pool, and celebrate all the ways Life has been Good to us So Far. May Joewalshmas bring the Good Life to you and yours for another &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/joewalshmas-december-26\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2,10,13],"tags":[146,145,147,26,14,148],"class_list":["post-305","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bad-influences","category-nostalgic-obsessions","category-site-stuff","tag-eagles","tag-joe-walsh","tag-joewalshmas","tag-mike-the-pod","tag-music","tag-pod-holidays"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p53HmY-4V","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2057,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/eagles\/","url_meta":{"origin":305,"position":0},"title":"Eagles","author":"MattyBoy","date":"06\/16\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"From my understanding, it's just \"Eagles\", not \"The Eagles\". 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In 1998, I drew the initial batch of strips for Mike The Pod Comix\u00a0#4, and included them in the proposal that saw them properly published, starting in 2002. Among\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Comix Classic &amp; Current&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Comix Classic &amp; Current","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/classic-comix\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"BIUL_Ween","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/BIUL_Ween.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/BIUL_Ween.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/BIUL_Ween.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/BIUL_Ween.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/305","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/305\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1173,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/305\/revisions\/1173"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}