{"id":2571,"date":"2016-10-21T00:21:06","date_gmt":"2016-10-21T04:21:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/?p=2571"},"modified":"2016-10-23T00:21:29","modified_gmt":"2016-10-23T04:21:29","slug":"every-day-is-halloween","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/every-day-is-halloween\/","title":{"rendered":"(Every Day Is) Halloween"},"content":{"rendered":"

Let’s say you’ve decided to become a “Goth”. These are some things you can expect:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. No friends, aside from other Goths.<\/li>\n
  2. No attention, aside from that of other Goths.<\/li>\n
  3. No respect from anyone, aside from other Goths.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Goths have made a full-time commitment to a\u00a0bad mood.\u00a0<\/em>It’s like a lifestyle built entirely around PMS. If a Goth is older than 25, you’re looking at severely damaged goods. Elvira is literally the only person who can pull the look off successfully.<\/p>\n

    \"Damaged<\/a>

    Damaged goods she is not.<\/p><\/div>\n

    <\/p>\n

    This is the inherent vice of Goths. They saw, usually in a musician or a horror host, their own sadness and frustration made more elegant. They dress in a manifestation of their self-loathing; dark, cadaverous, ready to fade\u00a0into the shadows. They groan about how loathed they are by everyone, without realizing they’ve rendered themselves unlikable. Their affected gloom is\u00a0interesting\u00a0only\u00a0to them.<\/p>\n

    High school cliques traditionally include a Goth\u00a0chapter, in the form of a clutch of two or three. A strong-willed girl is usually the ringleader, often paired with a platonic boyfriend. Goth allows a safe place for gay kids to come out, thanks to the eyeliner and nail polish involved. When other kids think you’re “spooky”, they don’t waste another thought regarding your sex life. Many girls dress Goth to scare off suitors. Or… to look slimmer.<\/p>\n

    Hiding your body is not the same as loving it. There are fat Goths because committing to a dour mood full-time often entails poor eating habits. This is a distortion of what Halloween is all about, which is candy, costumes, and most importantly\u00a0fun.<\/em><\/p>\n

    One of the best Halloween costumes I’ve ever seen was worn by a girl who embraced her body type. She thought she was shaped like a POM bottle, so she dressed up as one. About a million guys fell for her and her POM-shaped booty as a result.\u00a0That’s<\/em> Halloween fun, and I swear, it comes naturally from girls. Women are more crucial to Halloween than pumpkins.<\/p>\n

    \"ADORABLE<\/a>

    ADORABLE WITH A CAPITAL AWWWW.<\/p><\/div>\n

    Anyway, not everything Goth is awful, or worthy of loud ridicule. If one is in a receptive (gloomy) mood, it’s possible to appreciate pillars of the mode gothique<\/em> like “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” (Bauhaus). But the song that speaks most directly to the black leathery\u00a0heart of the Goth sprang from a most unlikely source; the thrash-metal band Ministry.<\/p>\n

    Of course, they weren’t thrash-metal yet<\/em>. They were in their early incarnation, which sounded like Joy Division. Al Jourgensen used to sing in an English accent, rather than scream. Hell, it’s no stranger than Sting or Van Morrison singing like Americans. Ministry\u00a0was also originally more synth-oriented, during the golden era of such devices. The first time I heard the single “(Every Day Is) Halloween”, I immediately thought of the opening titles of\u00a0Return of the Living Dead,\u00a0<\/em>one of the\u00a0greatest zombie movies ever made.<\/em><\/p>\n