{"id":2458,"date":"2016-09-13T00:02:59","date_gmt":"2016-09-13T04:02:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/?p=2458"},"modified":"2016-09-19T00:03:33","modified_gmt":"2016-09-19T04:03:33","slug":"my-back-pages","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/my-back-pages\/","title":{"rendered":"My Back Pages"},"content":{"rendered":"

Print is important and always will be. Secret messages are sent on paper; on computers, they have to be heavily encrypted. This still doesn’t work as well as something that has to be photographed before someone burns or swallows it.<\/p>\n

I’d call it a safe bet that money will always be printed, from elaborate etchings.<\/p>\n

\"money_folded\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It is illegal in America to burn or otherwise destroy currency. Since 2000, new watermarks and patterns have been added, to make counterfeiting totally impossible. That’s how important these little rectangles of printed linen are.\u00a0<\/p>\n

By association, books and periodicals are also important; it feels improper to burn or destroy them. Not out of any higher calling. Out of the possibility that within all those printed words and images, there might be something crucial that we overlooked.<\/p>\n

\"goodtimes\"<\/a><\/p>\n

On the last page of the first\u00a0Bands I Useta Like<\/em> magazine<\/a>, I included a seemingly nonsensical “advertisement” for a job selling it, much like the old\u00a0Grit\u00a0<\/em>ads in comic books. The fortunate few who have a copy already know about this.<\/p>\n

You won’t get the message looking at it on a screen. You have to print it out and hold it in your hands. I designed it that way. Print does not capitulate to the digital world; it’s the other way around. A phone is no substitute for a paperback. Anyone who says differently is trying to sell you electronics.<\/p>\n

For the third issue<\/a>, I made the messages overt, and stuck them right on the front page. I worry about you. This is a diabolical year.<\/p>\n

\"frontpage\"<\/a><\/p>\n

You won’t need to print that one out, it’s pretty straightforward. This is the point we have reached as a culture.<\/p>\n

It’s not that I couldn’t submit my work to\u00a0MAD<\/em> magazine, it’s that\u00a0MAD<\/em> is now owned by a\u00a0major corporation<\/em>, and anything I submitted would be second-guessed and focus-grouped. Not by editors; by people who\u00a0represent the brand.\u00a0<\/em>Corporate suits only concerned with the\u00a0bottom line<\/em>, and the\u00a0company image.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Ergo, anything\u00a0MAD<\/em> published of mine would be in no way representative of my work, only theirs. It would become their “intellectual property”.<\/p>\n

So- why don’t I submit my work to one of\u00a0MAD<\/em>‘s competitors?<\/p>\n

Because it’s illegal for them to even exist.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

MAD<\/em> is owned by DC, which is owned by Warner Brothers. A magazine similar to\u00a0MAD<\/em>‘s format would be issued a cease and desist warning. As with video games, no one dreams of uttering the word “monopoly”. The End.<\/p>\n

The\u00a0National Lampoon<\/em> of my youth is long gone. Contributors who railed against Richard Nixon now support a far worse candidate, and like some current comedians, they make one thing clear.<\/p>\n

Once the economic recession hit, their corporate masters pulled their chains in tight.<\/p>\n

That’s all it is. No respectable humorist should rally behind\u00a0a fucking politician, even if they’re related. Comedians exist to\u00a0guard<\/em> the people from government, with wit and cunning. The ones telling you to “get with the program” are sold out and evil. They work for a company in bed with a candidate. THE END.<\/p>\n

That’s as much as I can tell you online. Things are so bad right now, the only thing you can trust is the printed page.<\/p>\n

That’s good.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Print is important and always will be. Secret messages are sent on paper; on computers, they have to be heavily encrypted. This still doesn’t work as well as something that has to be photographed before someone burns or swallows it. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,6,9],"tags":[47,18,31,56,25,395,26,161,158,51,32,52],"class_list":["post-2458","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-classic-comix","category-faint-signals","category-magazine-rack","tag-bands-i-useta-like","tag-comedy","tag-comix","tag-corporate-crap","tag-laughter","tag-mad-magazine","tag-mike-the-pod","tag-national-lampoon","tag-political-correctness","tag-sellouts","tag-underground","tag-whores"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p53HmY-DE","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2432,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/intoleroids\/","url_meta":{"origin":2458,"position":0},"title":"Intoleroids","author":"MattyBoy","date":"09\/11\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"From the 2016 Wish Book Catalog: Celebrate the 15th anniversary of America's tolerance of the worst people in the world! Great gifts for anyone who fears\u00a0free expression (from others), and the folks in your life who do nothing but tear down and destroy! Order now: before the right to criticize\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Bad Influences"","block_context":{"text":"Bad Influences","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/bad-influences\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"As seen on BIUL #2.","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/Intoleroids.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/Intoleroids.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/Intoleroids.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3359,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/green-cards\/","url_meta":{"origin":2458,"position":1},"title":"Green Cards","author":"MattyBoy","date":"04\/20\/2017","format":false,"excerpt":"On this special day, as many gather to celebrate the incineration of healing plants (or Hitler's birthday\/anniversary of Columbine, for the sickies), please enjoy these clip-n-save trading cards. They're just the thing you need, for when you have to deal with the\u00a0dark side of getting stoned. Ask Mom for help\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Bad Influences"","block_context":{"text":"Bad Influences","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/bad-influences\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/cc1.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":931,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/bands-i-useta-like-ii-banned-from-school\/","url_meta":{"origin":2458,"position":2},"title":"Bands I Useta Like II: Banned From School","author":"MattyBoy","date":"11\/11\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"To All Students: It has come to this administration's attention that there is now a second 32-page issue of \"Bands I Useta Like\" magazine. You may recall the trouble that resulted on campus after the first pile of this filth appeared. We do not want a repeat of that incident.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Bad Influences"","block_context":{"text":"Bad Influences","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/bad-influences\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"college","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/college.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/college.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/college.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":343,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/spring-break-is-special\/","url_meta":{"origin":2458,"position":3},"title":"Spring Break Is Special!","author":"MattyBoy","date":"03\/09\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"This is it, folks; the magazine I've been teasing you with is finally here. And the best part? It's ONLY $5! This incredible inaugural issue of BANDS I USETA LIKE MAGAZINE contains new stuff (like the Crumb comic and an extended preview of the \"Jail\" Comic), Cannabis Creeps trading cards,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Comix Classic & Current"","block_context":{"text":"Comix Classic & Current","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/classic-comix\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"BIULSBS2015","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/BIULSBS2015.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/BIULSBS2015.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/BIULSBS2015.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3145,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/gafdren\/","url_meta":{"origin":2458,"position":4},"title":"Gafdren","author":"MattyBoy","date":"02\/20\/2017","format":false,"excerpt":"You can't unring a bell.","rel":"","context":"In "Comix Classic & Current"","block_context":{"text":"Comix Classic & Current","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/classic-comix\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/gafdren.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3112,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/mercy\/","url_meta":{"origin":2458,"position":5},"title":"“Mercy”","author":"MattyBoy","date":"02\/11\/2017","format":false,"excerpt":"","rel":"","context":"In "Bad Influences"","block_context":{"text":"Bad Influences","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/bad-influences\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/Mercy.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/Mercy.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/Mercy.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2458","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2458"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2458\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2462,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2458\/revisions\/2462"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2458"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2458"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2458"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}