{"id":1349,"date":"2016-01-25T01:28:41","date_gmt":"2016-01-25T06:28:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/?p=1349"},"modified":"2017-06-09T10:00:41","modified_gmt":"2017-06-09T14:00:41","slug":"the-song-that-cant-be-named","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/the-song-that-cant-be-named\/","title":{"rendered":"The Song That Can’t Be Named"},"content":{"rendered":"

Roughly every day, I search YouTube for a decent copy of what I consider\u00a0The Funniest Song I’ve Ever Heard<\/strong>. I like to hear it often, but this is difficult, as the title of the song is “sensitive” these days, and it’s hard to pin down as a result. However, I believe it’s worth the effort.<\/p>\n

\"cky2k2\"
\n<\/a>When I listen to the song I invariably get the urge to share it with everyone. Alas, this is a touchy subject, as the title requires explaining. On the surface, the song is a man lampooning his friend as an insatiably homosexual fiend, presumably to gall him. Beneath this is a story of empowerment and acceptance.<\/p>\n

Voody doody doo, hah
\nLook what I can do
\nI sit on a cock
\nOr fuckin’ two<\/em><\/p>\n

WOODY WOW!
\nMy ass is ready tonight
\nSo rape it
\nI won’t put up a fight<\/em><\/p>\n

I’m delicious to fuck, ohh
\nOn a man’s dick I’ll suck
\nMark my name as Rake
\nFor goodness sake
\nI’ll rape your ass everyday
\nAnd eat a cheese steak<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

If you’re at all familiar with the\u00a0Jackass<\/em> cadre, particularly its Pennsylvania chapter, you know this as the work of\u00a0Gnarkill;<\/strong> ergo the skate-punk band\u00a0CKY<\/strong>, fronted by madman\u00a0Brandon DiCamillo<\/strong>. DiCamillo is goofing on\u00a0Rake Yohn<\/strong>, the “hulking human hairball” who kicked a crater in Bam Margera’s Audi after being splashed with mustard. Yohn has a psychotic aversion<\/em> to the stuff, to put it mildly, and he looks like a berserker. Picturing him as a jubilant and unrepentant raper of man-ass is the height of hilarity.<\/p>\n

\"Pictured:<\/a>

Pictured: Rake Yohn. (2000)<\/p><\/div>\n

It’s been noted that DiCamillo mostly performs for his friends, which I interpret as an admission of his motives. He is the quintessential dude that only lives to crack up his buddies. There’s no other reason to “go for it”. That’s why nearly every inch of his footage is gold. He’s the crew’s comedy carpet-bomb.<\/p>\n

I imagine that CKY cooked up a ripping studio track (Deron Miller<\/strong> and Chad Ginsburg<\/strong> do great guitar work), and DiCamillo grabbed a mic and went bugfuck improvising lyrics, to crack everyone up. The best line, without question, comes next.<\/p>\n

Watch me at the Family Fun Center
\nI’m in a Slip-‘N’-Slide<\/em><\/p>\n

I’M NAKED AS SHIT
\nAND I’M SLIDIN’ INSIDE
\nTEN MOTHERFUCKERS WITH A DICK
\nTEN FEET WIDE<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

My friends, that is a\u00a0power mantra<\/em>. Regardless of age, gender, or sexual orientation, everyone longs to proclaim they are naked as shit with a ten-foot-wide dick, while rushing through a Slip-‘N’-Slide. Meditate on this, as I do, and you shall only grow in power.<\/p>\n

Some lyrics are difficult to parse, which lends credence to my theory that they were extemporaneous. Then the rhythm guitar shifts, and DiCamillo shifts right along with it.<\/p>\n

Watch me fuck all slow; romantic
\nThere’s no need to panic
\nI see a man, I squat on his ass
\nAnd fuck it so fast
\nLike a tasty sea bass<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Not long after that the song abruptly ends with this couplet;<\/p>\n

I meant to say
\nFuck me tonight
\nIf you’re a man
\nMy ass ain’t tight<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

As you can see, I find this tune funny enough to pontificate about it for this long. It’s a throwback to the days before 9\/11, oversensitivity, and Ryan Dunn’s accident. It’s like having a buddy who will stop at nothing to make you laugh.<\/p>\n

It’s not a good idea to share it on Facebook.<\/p>\n