{"id":11,"date":"2014-06-14T22:13:46","date_gmt":"2014-06-14T22:13:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/?p=11"},"modified":"2014-06-14T22:30:40","modified_gmt":"2014-06-14T22:30:40","slug":"why-im-not-actually-lazy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/why-im-not-actually-lazy\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I&#8217;m Not Actually Lazy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Don&#8217;t try this at home.<\/p>\n<p>1.Wake up. 10am is good. 9am is better. Noon and afterwards are bad, unless it&#8217;s simply unavoidable due to late night field work.<\/p>\n<p>2.Drink three cups of coffee. Sugar substitute is better than sugar. Sugar throws too much gas on the flame.<\/p>\n<p>3.Figure out what paying work has to be done that day.<\/p>\n<p>4.Do it.<\/p>\n<p>5.Determine what &#8220;podwork&#8221; requires immediate writing\/pencilling\/inking\/coloring. I.e., &#8220;all of it&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>6.Do whatever it takes to enter a &#8220;fugue state&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>7.Use this state to get a &#8220;vibration&#8221; of inspiration going.<\/p>\n<p>8.Go where the inspiration will do the most good. If you feel funny, write funny. If you feel fantastical, draw fantasy.<\/p>\n<p>9.It&#8217;s getting late in the afternoon. Switch gears from comedy to drama or vice versa. If you don&#8217;t feel it, tough titties.<\/p>\n<p>10.Don&#8217;t forget that note for the next comedy\/drama shift. Write the idea down.<\/p>\n<p>11.Find something to write the idea down upon. This will take 45 minutes.<\/p>\n<p>12.Forget the idea due to realization of hunger. No food has been consumed and the sun is setting.<\/p>\n<p>13.Eat hastily-prepared food. Remember idea. Write it down in the right notebook.<\/p>\n<p>14.Try to recover the groove. Try to recover the groove.<\/p>\n<p>15.It&#8217;s not happening.<\/p>\n<p>16.Angrily stomp out of the house to a bar\/store\/laundromat. Sneer at fools with their pants down.<\/p>\n<p>17.Return to desk, typically drunk. Guilt trip ensues at sight of unfinished work.<\/p>\n<p>18.Do not punch self in face. Very important.<\/p>\n<p>19.3am- fetal position, stroking a hamster.<\/p>\n<p>20.5 am. Page is somehow complete despite advancing blindness.<\/p>\n<p>21.Lie down.<\/p>\n<p>22.Go to 1.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>No points for guessing which ones get bent or broken.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Don&#8217;t try this at home. 1.Wake up. 10am is good. 9am is better. Noon and afterwards are bad, unless it&#8217;s simply unavoidable due to late night field work. 2.Drink three cups of coffee. Sugar substitute is better than sugar. Sugar &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/why-im-not-actually-lazy\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bad-influences","category-site-stuff"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p53HmY-b","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4472,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/you-know-whats-funny\/","url_meta":{"origin":11,"position":0},"title":"You Know What&#8217;s Funny?","author":"MattyBoy","date":"12\/18\/2018","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. 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This Is Spinal Tap did a better job with the concept, but Bad News had an advantage; whereas Tap was an impersonation, Bad News was the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Bad Influences&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Bad Influences","link":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/category\/bad-influences\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The runner-up in the pants-stuffing joke competition of 1983.","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/badnews1.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2862,"url":"https:\/\/www.bandsiusetalike.com\/biul\/mattys-white-knuckle-sober-christmas\/","url_meta":{"origin":11,"position":3},"title":"Matty&#8217;s White-Knuckle, Sober Christmas","author":"MattyBoy","date":"12\/25\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Like many adult Americans, I prefer to be intoxicated on Christmas day. Some call this addiction. I call it self-medicating for the benefit of others. 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