Would you like to be a cartoonist like me?
You can’t. Sorry. Not even if you paid me to train you. It won’t happen.
A few years back, I was confused as to why so many people on-line were identifying as “Single Jewish Women”. I thought perhaps it was a hacking incident, or a mass gaslighting (masslighting?). The truth was far more banal.
Hey… remember when dudes (you call them Nazis now, due to your low testosterone) would get together after a long week of work and party hard? They were called Weekend Warriors.
Whatever war they fought in, versus weekends, watery beer, or good taste; it was every bit as real a conflict as the one fought by trendy Social Justice Warriors.
As in, not at all.
An object in motion tends to stay in motion. An object at rest tends to stay at rest.
More accurately, an object that is in motion will not change its velocity unless a force acts upon it. This is Newton’s law of motion. It applies to the average blogger thusly; if you’re having a good posting run, it will continue until some force acts upon it.
[Author’s Note: This article is about how to be actual garbage, as in waste and refuse, not how to be the band “Garbage”.]
Here’s a hypothetical and hard-to-believe scenario. You’re talking to someone about how much you like my comics. Just go with it, alright? The person you’re talking to suddenly pipes up with, “Oh yeah, I know that guy. Have for years. He’s a real piece of shit. Let me tell you all about that pussy.”
Congratulations! You’ve had an encounter with garbage.
It’s not difficult. Garbage is everywhere. It stinks, and we all have to deal with it sooner or later.
I need to do my job as a website manager and give you something you need, that you didn’t know you did. Don’t get spoiled, this won’t happen very often. But if I’m hurting, which I am now more than ever, it means that the rest of the world is hurting even more.
So here’s what you need.
Q: What can hurt you on the Internet?
A: Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
It’s impossible. You cannot read or see something on the Internet and become injured. You can only allow yourself to be manipulated.
Pre-Internet, not knowing the meaning of a word was a pretty serious problem.
Someone who disliked you could put you on the spot, in front of a group, by quizzing you on the meaning of a word.
“Come on, everyone knows what that word means. Don’t you?”
“If you know so much, then what’s it mean?”
“Oh no, I’m not telling. You first.”