If I may, I’d like to speak to the ladies a moment. The women, the females, the girls; there’s something I think you’ll find very interesting. I’m so sure of this, that I’m just gonna hit you with it cold; straight, no chaser. Afterwards, I’ll reveal why.
The following YouTube link should be cued up to the correct spot, but on the off chance it isn’t, you’re looking for the 9:04 mark: “The Slave”, from Art Bears’ 1979 album Winter Songs. The lyrics are under the link in case you’d like to read them. The words are so clearly sung, you probably won’t even need to.
Janeane Garofalo once stated that she got a reduction because she didn’t want to be the girl behind the mic with big boobs. I think my horrific fantasy from panel 3 validates her decision beautifully.
For whatever reason, I am generally alone in my desire to bang Janeane Garofalo. Maybe she seems gloomy and standoffish to other guys. I have many predilections, one of which is the Wednesday Addams type; cute (legal age) girls with hair as black as their hearts, and doom on the brain. It has undone me more times than I care to relate here. Continue reading →