Tag Archives: Internet

I Am Better Than Maddox

Folks, I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but-

In case you haven’t been steeped in Internet culture for most of your life, let me explain. Cast your mind back to the year 2004 B.F. (Before Facebook). A leap year.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Podcastery, Site Stuff

Phish

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Filed under Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Late To The Party, Thousand Listen Club, Unfairly Maligned

Agent Orange

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Idiot's Delight, Site Stuff, Thousand Listen Club, Worst Of All

How To Tell Who’s Racist, Guaranteed

If you use the Internet like I do, you might have noticed the neologism “racist” being thrown around a lot, particularly on “social media”. Many are confused about the meaning of this word; often it appears to be arbitrary, and have no meaning. It seems to be applicable to anyone, living or dead. How can you tell if you, or anybody around you is a “racist”? Here’s my foolproof method, and it’s guaranteed to work, 100% of the time.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

Terminal and Malignant Fancer

Believe it or not, I still watch and enjoy The Simpsons. Just not on Sundays when it’s new.

I wait however long is necessary until it’s on YouTube, and I watch it then. Alone. Often years after it aired. Why?

Because there’s no other way to judge it fairly. It’s ruined in its proper time slot.

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Worst Of All

Why Literally None Of It Matters

Possibly the greatest blessing of my childhood is that I was bullied almost non-stop for its duration.

How could that be a blessing? It prepared me for a lifelong career on the Internet, that’s how.

If you expect other people to make fun of you, regardless of what you say, you’ll do fine on the web. Because they will. No matter who you are.

How about a riddle?

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

Autobiographic Asphyxiation

We have been experiencing technical difficulties. Thank you for your patience. Please allow me to use this opportunity to get us all on the same page. I’ve had a lot of time to think, away from the Internet. We all know how suffocating it can become.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Worst Of All

Zuckerberg’s Guinea Pig

On the first of May, 2018, sometime about a half-hour before noon, a bar appeared underneath every post on the social networking site Facebook.

I had awakened earlier, in a panic attack, and been scrolling my “newsfeed” in a wrongheaded attempt to relieve my state of depressive shock. Believe it or not, sometimes it works. I find pictures of kitties, or baby hedgehogs, or pretty girls with their whatnots hanging out. Maybe an inspiring story or a naughty bit of humor. I feel better, and get on with the tasks of the day.

But this new snitch bar made things way, way worse.

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The 400th Post

Break out the champagne, it’s post #400! After four long, thankless years, I have managed four hundred posts on this beast. And you know what that means, don’t you?

No, it doesn’t mean I’m spinning the chamber of a revolver loaded with a single bullet. Silly person! It means I’m announcing the next issue of Bands I Useta Like magazine!

Work in progress- subject to change (©Matty Boy Anderson)

Just look at what’s inside:

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Idiot's Delight, Magazine Rack, Site Stuff, Unfairly Maligned

A Year In Review

As an American man raised in the latter half of the 20th century (™Disney Corp.), my reference points all originate from popular movies, rather than real-life experience. When thinking back upon 2017, I an reminded of this classic Bill Murray line, from a film about to turn 30.

I don’t even get paid to do this, and yet I’m forcing myself to, for you. So at least pretend to enjoy it. Like 2017, it’ll be over and done before you know it. Fingers crossed.

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Filed under Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Late To The Party, Site Stuff, Worst Of All