Howdy, pardners! Watch me jump this gun!
I can’t keep it a secret any longer. I’m in Bad Shape! Seriously Bad Shape!Continue reading
The following is an open letter to Facebook, Amazon, Google, and Spotify, from Matty Boy Anderson. Mr. Anderson is a 28-year veteran of newspaper comics, and has self-published his own comic books for equally as long. He has created Internet content for 20 years, and authored three websites. In 2008, after three years of production, he released a homemade movie that won Best Animated Feature at the Atlanta Underground Film Festival.
Dear Facebook:Continue reading →
On the first of May, 2018, sometime about a half-hour before noon, a bar appeared underneath every post on the social networking site Facebook.
I had awakened earlier, in a panic attack, and been scrolling my “newsfeed” in a wrongheaded attempt to relieve my state of depressive shock. Believe it or not, sometimes it works. I find pictures of kitties, or baby hedgehogs, or pretty girls with their whatnots hanging out. Maybe an inspiring story or a naughty bit of humor. I feel better, and get on with the tasks of the day.
But this new snitch bar made things way, way worse.
Break out the champagne, it’s post #400! After four long, thankless years, I have managed four hundred posts on this beast. And you know what that means, don’t you?
No, it doesn’t mean I’m spinning the chamber of a revolver loaded with a single bullet. Silly person! It means I’m announcing the next issue of Bands I Useta Like magazine!
Just look at what’s inside:
An essential quality in a modern person is the ability to accept that some things don’t make sense. There will always be unknowables and mysteries. We will all go to our graves without the answers. We must make our own answers, to maintain sanity, regardless of whether our answers are based in truth. We must move on.
What if we can’t? What if we lack this essential quality? What then?
Can I let you in on a little secret?
Nobody actually likes 2 Live Crew. They stank. They were the kind of fraud that today, would be secretly sponsored by George “Fuck Everything Good” Soros. 2 Live Crew was just garbage.
It was humiliating to stock, sell or even see 2 Live Crew albums in the record store. As soon as a customer brought one to the counter, you knew there would be a problem. The customer was always under 18, and thus forbidden to purchase the music; no one older than 18 cared about it. If they enjoyed rap, they had already moved on to something actually good.
Let me be clear about something, so there is no misunderstanding amongst the finger-pointers.
I love women.More than probably anything else. They are intrinsically exciting to me. Not just their hills and valleys; I can get worked into a froth thinking about Camille Paglia cocking an eyebrow. I have chased women at the expense of my sanity and livelihood, even the ones I wasn’t trying to fuck. Some women beam out female energy like a supernova, and I just want to be close to it, like a moth to a flame. Continue reading →