Tag Archives: 2018

Terminal and Malignant Fancer

Believe it or not, I still watch and enjoy The Simpsons. Just not on Sundays when it’s new.

I wait however long is necessary until it’s on YouTube, and I watch it then. Alone. Often years after it aired. Why?

Because there’s no other way to judge it fairly. It’s ruined in its proper time slot.

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Worst Of All

Why Literally None Of It Matters

Possibly the greatest blessing of my childhood is that I was bullied almost non-stop for its duration.

How could that be a blessing? It prepared me for a lifelong career on the Internet, that’s how.

If you expect other people to make fun of you, regardless of what you say, you’ll do fine on the web. Because they will. No matter who you are.

How about a riddle?

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

46th & Vern

Yesterday, I had my birthday. Everyone wished me good luck.

Isn’t that a great song? I love that album. Crispin Glover is one of my favorite people. Remember when he was “Uncle Dell” in David Lynch’s Wild At Heart? How he stayed up all night making sandwiches?

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Filed under Faint Signals, Great Hamsters I Have Known, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Site Stuff, Thousand Listen Club

Zuckerberg’s Guinea Pig

On the first of May, 2018, sometime about a half-hour before noon, a bar appeared underneath every post on the social networking site Facebook.

I had awakened earlier, in a panic attack, and been scrolling my “newsfeed” in a wrongheaded attempt to relieve my state of depressive shock. Believe it or not, sometimes it works. I find pictures of kitties, or baby hedgehogs, or pretty girls with their whatnots hanging out. Maybe an inspiring story or a naughty bit of humor. I feel better, and get on with the tasks of the day.

But this new snitch bar made things way, way worse.

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Five Alive

Alright I did another one, alright?! I’m so damn committed to this idea I squeaked out another one!!!

Click the cover to visit the ordering page!

Now I know how Michael Bay felt after wrapping Transformers 5. Like me, he probably leaned back in his chair, put his hands behind his head, and sighed “holy shit, now I’ve done that five times.”

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Filed under Comix Classic & Current, Magazine Rack, Site Stuff

Head Shots

When you’re polishing the brass railings of the HMS Titanic, it’s important to remember one thing; do it with style. Otherwise, why bother? The more you polish, the better you get. So what if the ship hits the iceberg and sinks?

Since 1998, largely to keep myself out of a rut, I’ve changed the heading of the Bands I Useta Like strip every few years. In the very beginning (when it was self-published), it looked like this:

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Filed under Comix Classic & Current, Magazine Rack, Site Stuff

Blondie

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Nostalgic Obsessions

The Itis of March

This’ll be a quick one. Didn’t mean to be away for so long. These things happen. But let me make one thing clear:

I hate March.

Fuck “Smarch”, too.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Late To The Party, Site Stuff, Worst Of All

Vern’s Vet Adventure

When something restores your overall morale, and very nearly your faith in humanity, that something must be publicly acknowledged. And yes, that’s humanity, not “hupeopleity”, or any other spurious, Canadian word salad.

Two things you already know if you’ve read articles on this site in the past month: 1., I’m flat broke, and 2., my dwarf hamster Vern has had a growth under his chin since mid-January.

A Vern in the hand.

This past week, the growth grew significantly, and I began to worry that it was hurting Vern. Hopefully you don’t know this, but when you’re so broke that you can’t even provide for the pet that depends on you, the spiral of shame and depression is mind-boggling in its brutality.

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Filed under Great Hamsters I Have Known, Site Stuff

Valentine’s Vern II: The Squeakquel

Vern, aka Vernal Squeequinox, is my Winter White dwarf hamster. You might have seen him in other articles here, or in my interminable Facebook posts. Maybe you’re not interested in another page about my emotional support hamster*, but I assure you, Vern only wants to share love. Like me, he takes his small fandom very seriously. (As seriously as a tiny ball of fluff can take anything.)

A snoozing Vern in an Ovo pod.

*As a favor to me, please remember this: I never, ever, want to hear any tragic stories about hamsters, yours or otherwise. Never. I’m asking you nicely.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

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Filed under Great Hamsters I Have Known