Tag Archives: 2012

2012: The Sketchbook

I had to move recently, hence the hiatus. If you’re a writer or an artist, moving is extra hell because of all the books. Big glossy ones for the coffee table (if applicable), thick reference tomes, and oodles of little half-finished sketchbooks.

Not an exaggeration.

In 2012, my friend Chay and I worked as audience members for the taping of a popular game show, hosted by Steve Harvey. We helped to provide a diversity that was wholly absent from the proceedings.

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Filed under Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Robot Toy Fetish

Forever Insufferable

If it were up to me, this entire website would be nothing but pictures of womens’ tits. Oh, except in the sidebar, there’d be a link to all the reviews I’ve written about Transformers toys. If it were up to me.

Wait a second… it is up to me. It’s my site. So why don’t I?

Good question. I could probably make a tidy income doing it. So why not?

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Robot Toy Fetish, Worst Of All

A Toast To Absent Friends

Imagine if legendary and revered comedian Bill Hicks hadn’t died in 1994.

Some people believe Alex Jones is really Bill Hicks. I am not among them.

What if- just hear me out- he supported Trump in 2016? How would that make you feel about him? What if he’d gone “right-wing”, pre- or post-9/11? Would he still be referenced in Tool songs?

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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions

Bless This Mess

No need to thank me. I won’t say “I told you so”. I won’t rub it in, or be a “sore winner”. I’m good like that.

I'm sorry you're having trouble. (BONK) I'm sorry you're having trouble.

I’m sorry you’re having trouble. (BONK) I’m sorry you’re having trouble.

Appreciate that the desire to gloat is strong, however. The Left made their bed; now they can die in it. They were so terrified of Bernie Sanders’ predicted landslide victory that they lied, cheated and stole to sabotage it. I’ll never, ever forget or forgive their cowardice and manipulation. But this is a “comedy site”, so let’s put all that aside for the time being.  Continue reading

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Uncategorized, Worst Of All

The Power Of Michelles

Not to put too fine a point on it, but in my experiences, girls named Michelle tend to be extra powerful.

As a dude, I’m not meant to understand it too deeply. I don’t know if spelling it with one “l” or two makes a difference. What I do know, is that if you value your soul, you do not mess around with girls named Michelle. 

It would be impolite of me to get personal on this matter, so allow me to utilize a public example, and a shining one: Michelle Jenneke.

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Michelle “Shelly” Jenneke is an Australian hurdler and model, who won a silver medal for the 100m hurdles at the 2010 Summer Youth Olympics. She won the 100m hurdles at the 2016 Australian Athletics Championships to qualify for the Rio Olympic Games. She received worldwide media attention in 2012 for her pre-race warm-up dance.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Girls of BIUL, Uncategorized

Movies You Missed: Dredd

Suspension of disbelief is when you silence the internal critics of your mind, and make concessions in order to increase your enjoyment of something, typically movies. For instance;

  1. Transformers movies have groan-inducing songs stuck into them, to deflate tension.
  2. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and Return of the Jedi have dodgy special effects for some reason, that’ll pull you out of the movie if you let them.
  3. In The Empire Strikes Back, Han Solo and Princess Leia are more or less in the vacuum of space, inside a giant slug, equipped with little more than snorkels.
  4. In even the grittiest, most violent color films of the 60s and 70s, blood looks like red tempera paint. Even Death Wish.
  5. Sylvester Stallone had to reveal his whole face in Judge Dredd (1995), even though the “real” Judge Dredd never has. The movie wouldn’t have seen the light of day otherwise. (It shouldn’t have.)

For the 2012 version of Dredd, I didn’t have to suspend my disbelief. At all.

It was the home run of that year, and for some weird reason, everyone missed it.

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Look how mad he is!!

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Filed under Late To The Party, Movies You Missed, Saturday Movie Matinee

All Hallows’ Eats III: Candy Of The Corn

Welcome to the third installment of our perennial perusal of Halloween sweets. If for some reason this one’s not enough for you, here’s the first, and the second. It’s a lot of sugar and junk, so pace yourself.

I don’t want to admit that I’ve been eating a lot of candy corn this fall, but earlier I cut myself and bled orange. I’m surprised my craps aren’t pumpkin-colored by now. I make a lot of sacrifices for this website, but at this point I feel like Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now, writhing and bleeding, muttering “shit… I’m still eating this shit.”

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Filed under Eatable Things, Idiot's Delight

Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)

O’Shloktoberfest is an autumn exploration of that rarest of substances: Decent Schlock. Each October I’ll wade through the sludge of 21st century horror so you don’t have to. 

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I think I should start this off with an open acknowledgment; Milla Jovovich is a great sport. Her obvious good looks aside, she has that Ukranian pluck that makes it tough to dislike her. She seems to be constantly in motion, typically crashing through walls and windows. I wouldn’t call myself a huge fan, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate that Milla Jovovich is out there blasting the dogshit out of something or other, usually while looking terrific if not kinda stoned.

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Filed under O'Shloktoberfest, Saturday Movie Matinee