Tag Archives: 1977

Bully For You

Here is a foolproof, ironclad, never-fail method to keep your kids from being bullied. Ready? This is worth a million dollars. Here it comes.

DON’T HAVE KIDS. 

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

Dire Straits

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Thousand Listen Club

The 40-Year-Old Version

Everything used to be way better. I found evidence.

A DOLLAR FIFTY!!!

It was at a yard sale for two dollars, and it’s actual proof, unlike my hazy memories. A motherfucking forty-year-old issue of Playboy.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Late To The Party, Magazine Rack, Nostalgic Obsessions

The Legend of Dickie Goodman

From BIUL III.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Magazine Rack, Nostalgic Obsessions, Worst Of All

Signature Moves

Why is Walt Disney’s signature on Star Wars?

Look, kids! Vague, controllable versions of things you love! Signed by a corpse who had no part in any of it! BUY BUY BUY!!!

Not just his name; his signature. As though he was the architect of its design. Walt Disney created Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck, right? Tinkerbell, sparkly glitter, and magic castles. Horrible TV-movies every Sunday. That’s Walt Disney. Around 1980, I was into Star Wars to get away from all that corny shit.

Now you’re telling me it’s Walt Disney’s property?

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned

Ah Leia Akbar

Carrie Fisher, the beloved actress who played the role of Princess Leia Organa in Star Wars, is no longer alive. You’re welcome for the update, recently-awakened coma victim.

There is literally nothing I can say about this. Literally; even praise will be feted as heresy. Legendary comedian Steve Martin, who knew Fisher, dared to tweet that she was beautiful when he met her, and of course the virtue-signalers can’t have that.

This is a gift from the man who made The Jerk and wrote Picasso at the Lapin Agile, you philistines.

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Filed under Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee

Fear Of Darkness, Boat Of Love

Recently my editor at Stomp & Stammer asked me how much of BIUL is embellished, and how much is actually true.

Believe it or not, it’s almost entirely truthful. I condense and streamline experiences for space constraints, and add a punchline here and there, but it’s all based in truth. In fact, there are anecdotes that I haven’t used, because I figure that readers will doubt their veracity.

For example, how I conquered my childhood fear of the dark with the help of The Love Boat.

loveboat1

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions

DEVO: The Good, The Bad, And The Mutated

I have been a DEVO fan- a “DEVOtee”, if you will- for a very long time. 35 years ago, I was witnessing the video for “Whip It” for the first time, on the brand-new cable channel MTV. I knew a lot of spoiled kids.

When a good time turns around.

When a good time turns around.

It’s not one of my favorite DEVO singles, but I appreciate its historical importance. Even today, it sounds truly weird. However, it came to be so closely linked with DEVO and their visual style, eventually it was the only song anyone brought up.  Continue reading

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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Nostalgic Obsessions, Thousand Listen Club, Unfairly Maligned

Eagles

From my understanding, it’s just “Eagles”, not “The Eagles”. Remember how in the 80s, the woman in charge of the LEGO Company put little messages in every box, asking consumers to say “LEGO bricks and toys” instead of “LEGOs”? Yeah. Good luck.

BIUL_Eagles

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Nostalgic Obsessions, Thousand Listen Club

Pure Evel

I don’t know why people are sad about the Great Deathwave of 2016. It’s a remarkable opportunity to make a stranger’s life all about yourself.

Muhammad Ali, The Greatest, 1942-2016. A multifarious and complex personality that's tough to categorize, not a prop for your opinions.

Muhammad Ali, The Greatest, 1942-2016. A multifarious and complex personality that’s tough to categorize (especially for a pugilist), not a prop for your opinions.

When a celebrity dies, you now own them. You can take the life’s work of someone you never encountered and reduce it to a personal inspiration. You can interpret their efforts as empowerment for your own agendas. Oh, and you can cherry-pick the qualities of their persona that you agree with, and ignore everything else. A corpse will never call your bluff. Continue reading

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