Category Archives: Worst Of All

Crash Test Dummies

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Filed under Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

Stabbing Westward

This is an early strip and it ain’t that great. I feel that works thematically with the band in question. I mean, do you even remember who I’m talking about?

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Worst Of All

The Tragedy of Cy-Kill

Mistake #1: No weapon accessories.

Unless you were alive and paying attention in the 1980s, you probably didn’t know that Transformers weren’t the first toys in America that changed into vehicles. “GoBots” were.

Transformers came from Rhode Island’s Hasbro, in 1984. GoBots came from Tonka, makers of fine metal toy trucks, in 1983. That may be why Hasbro did everything right, from the start- they saw what Tonka had already done wrong. And oh boy… Tonka did just about everything wrong.

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Worst Of All

Eminem

Hey- you know what? There’s no need to pretend that Marshall Mathers III isn’t lucky garbage anymore. None.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

How To Tell Who’s Racist, Guaranteed

If you use the Internet like I do, you might have noticed the neologism “racist” being thrown around a lot, particularly on “social media”. Many are confused about the meaning of this word; often it appears to be arbitrary, and have no meaning. It seems to be applicable to anyone, living or dead. How can you tell if you, or anybody around you is a “racist”? Here’s my foolproof method, and it’s guaranteed to work, 100% of the time.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

Terminal and Malignant Fancer

Believe it or not, I still watch and enjoy The Simpsons. Just not on Sundays when it’s new.

I wait however long is necessary until it’s on YouTube, and I watch it then. Alone. Often years after it aired. Why?

Because there’s no other way to judge it fairly. It’s ruined in its proper time slot.

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Worst Of All

Why Literally None Of It Matters

Possibly the greatest blessing of my childhood is that I was bullied almost non-stop for its duration.

How could that be a blessing? It prepared me for a lifelong career on the Internet, that’s how.

If you expect other people to make fun of you, regardless of what you say, you’ll do fine on the web. Because they will. No matter who you are.

How about a riddle?

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

Autobiographic Asphyxiation

We have been experiencing technical difficulties. Thank you for your patience. Please allow me to use this opportunity to get us all on the same page. I’ve had a lot of time to think, away from the Internet. We all know how suffocating it can become.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Worst Of All

Hurt Your Feelings

I tell you this as a friend. It won’t be easy for you, but worthwhile things in life seldom are.

Your feelings deserve to be hurt. 

No guarantee exists in life that your feelings will be unhurt. No more so than your bones or flesh. In fact; let’s start off with your bones. Remember when you were a little kid, and your bones throbbed in pain all the time? What did the grownups call that?

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Filed under Bad Influences, Girls of BIUL, Worst Of All

The Itis of March

This’ll be a quick one. Didn’t mean to be away for so long. These things happen. But let me make one thing clear:

I hate March.

Fuck “Smarch”, too.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Late To The Party, Site Stuff, Worst Of All